hi my name is Katie. this is a long story so I’ll start from the beginning.
about 7 months ago, this guy that I had been friends with for 3 years started paying more attention to me. he would always tell me that I looked pretty and would start flirting with me, and then one night he told me that he had feelings for me. we both agreed it was kind of weird since he had dated my best friend. I didn’t really feel that way about him though. I was already talking to someone at the time, but that didn’t stop him. he kept telling me he loved me, and that he wanted to be with me. I told him to leave me alone, because I needed to focus in other things. after a few weeks of not talking, I saw him in a group activity I was doing. he told me that he wanted me in his life, even though it meant just being friends. that was when I started to fall for him; and also when my 7 month struggle began.
the first time we started “talking,” it was working out well. I wanted so badly to be his girlfriend, but he never asked me. before we got close to dating, he would randomly lash out at me and blame me for something random so he could get out of it. this happened about 10 more times. every single time he lashed out, I was afraid to get closer to him every time. how could someone be so cruel? I never did anything but be nice to him. I was an understanding person, and he was just afraid to commit. whenever I had a problem with what we had, and I wanted to confront him about it, he told me that I was overreacting, and that nothing was wrong; he told me that I was emotional and crazy. this hurt me. I am so unhappy now because of this recurring problem we have. I love him and I’m even afraid to tell him that because he might get scared again.
I feel like this is completely unhealthy. we haven’t even dated yet even though he tells me he wants me to. we’ve had our fair share of make outs but he hasn’t commited yet. a few days ago I was hanging out with him and a group of friends. I spent hours curling my hair and getting all nice, all for nothing. he was more interested in talking to his ex girlfriend. I didn’t understand because he would always talk about how nasty and gross she was.
what do I do. I’m very depressed, and I refuse to have someone in my life like that. how does someone you care about treat you like you mean nothing to them. I’m hurting all the time, and sometimes I start to think the stuff he says about me is true. how do I get out of this without being mean? I don’t want him in my life anymore, even as a friend. I need to move on. what do I say to him? I don’t even care if I have to lie. I need him to to understand I’m serious about not wanting to see him anymore.
