How do I get more freedom?


I am 16 and my parents give me absolutely no freedom. I am not allowed to go out on school days and now they don’t even let me out on weekends too. They used to let me out once a week, but now they don’t even do that anymore. I don’t even ask to go to a party or anything, even if I ask to go to a movie with my friends they will say no. They tell me how I don’t deserve it and how they don’t trust me. It’s also so embarrassing telling my friends I cannot go out with them because my parents won’t let me out. People always make fun of me because of it. I’m not asking for too much, all I want is to have just a little more freedom.

Category: Tags: asked April 21, 2014

4 Answers

Try letting them know how you feel. Talk to them individually or together one day. If that doesn't work, in less than two years you'll be 18 and on your own. Let them know that and that you should have the freedoms they did as children at least. If not, I'm always here to talk :) stay strong
Have you done anything to betray their trust? If so, that's going to take some rebuilding. Sometimes, a simple 'I'm sorry' isn't enough to prove that it won't happen again. There are a couple of options here, in my opinion. Have you tried sitting them down and talking to them? Telling them everything? Sometimes, parents forget what it's like to be a kid, especially a teenager. With my mom, I had to show her that I deserved some time out. I had to clean the house, manage my chores, get all my homework done. When I turned 16, she made me get a job, and that helped a ton. She saw I was responsible enough to manage school, work, and my home life so she gave me freedom. I had also made a ton of friends working, so 'work' was almost going out and having fun. So, perhaps you can prove to your parents that you deserve it. Be a little more responsible with school and stuff to help your parents and maybe they'll reward you. It's like getting an allowance... you have to earn it. Your parents probably have their reasons as to why you don't get freedom, and you should keep an open mind when you listen to them. No aggravation, no yelling, nothing like that... just talking and getting everything out on the table. Maybe you can come to some sort of compromise that makes everyone happy. Good luck!
Yes, I have done things to betray their trust but they never give me chance to prove it to them that I can be trustworthy and responsible. Thank you so much for your help this is really great advice, I'm going to try letting them into my life so I can connect with them more.
Hello Miss Rea. You did the right thing in reaching out.

Parents often mean well, but it is an unfortunate consequence that the greatest harm can often result in the best intentions. You are 16, you are going to legally be an adult in 2 scant years. Your parents should be preparing you for real-world responsibility, not grounding you to your room like a ten-year-old.

Thankfully for everyone involved, there is absolutely a solution:

Sit your parents down and tell them that you are ready to start earning your freedom back and you're willing to do whatever you need to to earn it. They'll be overjoyed and only too happy to find things for you to do to prove to them that will help them feel more secure in your ability to be responsible.

Be calm, be open-minded, be patient, and above all, be respectful. Show your parents that you are willing to adopt a more responsible mentality and they will give you tasks that prove your willingness to transition into responsible positions and thus open you up to more freedom.