How do I fight my tendancies?

I deal with depression and social anxiety. I’ve been receiving treatment, but…

I’m afraid of bettering myself. Like… i’ve lived so long like this I feel like it’s…. my lot in life?

I feel ashamed and resistant when I think of doing anything good for myself.

I feel avoidant when I think of feeling happy. I feel silly at the thought of being carefree. I feel stuck.

I don’t want people to see me doing better. I don’t want them to cheer me on. I feel embarrassed when they do. patronized.

But I want their encouragement. I do. I like getting the praise. but I don’t.

It’s like there’s an entity inside me rejecting all positivity and I fight with it every moment.

How do I overcome this? How do I convince myself that I’m worth something, or that bettering myself wont be…bad?

Everything just seems like so much work and I just….cant care to do it forever. I feel like I finished with my life years ago and I’m only 28.

Category: Depression Tags: depression help asked January 27, 2014

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Jordan

5 Answers

0 accepted

This is a feeling that I have encountered with a lot of people before. Similar to has been said the only entity within you is yourself. Your mind seems to be creating negativity and low feelings of self worth. As someone who has suffered from those debilitating thoughts and feelings I can say that it is entirely possible to get through it. It is good that you are seeking treatment and treatment can take time. If you are prescribed medications it can take some time to work and even then there is a need to find the correct medications that work with you. It may be beneficial to slowly step out of your comfort zone and get out with friends. Treatment alone is not going to end this and you have to make an effort to talk positively to yourself and try to understand that these individuals who say something nice are not patronizing you but are giving you a legitimate complement and you need to try to take it as such.

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Blagage

Don't Give up. Dont let your depression&anxiety win. I'm only thirteen and for around a month have had this bad voice.Put a smile on your face even if you don't mean it.Let "it" know its not going to get to you (it might but dont show that" im here if you wanna talk. (Btw dont harm yourself! you might be thinking its for the best but believe me its not,think of your family,friends,even people around you)

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MegReaMcd

First and foremost, don't personify and partition parts of yourself. The only "thing" inside of you is you.

Treatment takes time and personal effort. You are not going to fix your life just going to a therapist an hour at a time, you have to take those lessons home and apply them, then continue working with yourself. It is not the job of a therapist to FIX you like a mechanic, but to figure out with you what is going wrong so you can fix yourself. In the end, it is all about making you independent.

Be patient with your treatment, but more importantly, be patient with yourself. I'm a Listener, so feel free to message me if you ever need to vent.

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Humanist Hope

16,417

I know it's not really a seperate being, it's just... the pattern of thought is so strong that it feels like it's taken on a life of it's own.My boyfriend and i came up with a list of tasks I should try to do each day to take care of myself, but I end up doing maybe half of them, if that

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Jordan

So is the answer really just.... pull myself up by my bootstraps?

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Jordan