My house has recently become a very negative place. I mean it sort of always was but lately it’s just become unbearable. My sister and parents are having issues with each other. I’m the older one and I just keep getting sucked into it. My sister is easily depressed and so is my mom. So if my mom is angry with my sister and can’t yell at her she’ll come to me and find some fault in me to yell at. My sister does the same thing. My dad’s usually at work so he doesn’t have to deal with so much of this but whenever he has to he’ll just tell me that I need to be there for my mom and look after my sister. Im just tired of having to deal with everyone else’s problems. None of them are ever there for me. I know I might be selfish but all this negativity is affecting my health as well as my grades. Im really bad at expressing my emotions so none of my friends know what I am going through. I just need some way to block this negativity and ignore it. I’ll be off to college in seven months but until them I need to deal with it. Does anyone know how can do that?
You can't block it out or ignore it. That's not going to make things better. You have to face those problems. What you feel matters too. Sit down with your family and explain what it does to you. It's not right of them that they yell at you just to get their things out. You're not their personal punchbag whenever they feel like yelling. Talk in a calm voice to them and say how it makes you feel. It's okay to admit that you're hurt too. It's not fair that your father tells you to be there for your mother and sister. He's putting too much pressure on your shoulders. If anything, it's your parents who should look after you and your sister. Soon you'll be in college. If you want to talk more about it, feel free to message me.
Blocking and ignoring the negativity is like running away from it. And running away is not an answer, it will affect you more if you do nothing with it. It might not be your problem but you're a family, one member's problem is the family's problem. That's what families are for, for supporting. Yes, there will be negativity and all but after that there would be rainbow, it is definite. I suggest you face it, then conquer it. You'll be fine just believe in yourself. And oh, talk with your friends, they will be your support as well, emotional support particularly.
I understand it must be really tough for you to deal with all this, but you can not let the negativity get to you. Focus on things that are important to you. If staying at home is emotionally draining, then spend time with your friends or other positive people. If you are really disturbed by the situation at home, then sit down with you mother and tell her how it affects you when she vents her anger on you, but be respectful. It cannot be denied that they are your family, so you can't just not care. Hence, you might want to talk to your sister as a brother, and see if there is anything that can be done to fix the problems. However, you must remember to not let these things affect you.Be stronger, and tell yourself that in 7 months you can go to college, where the atmosphere will be better. :)
It's not easy, b/c it becomes a habit just like messing with our phones. One thing I've used..and have passed on is a book called The Secret. More on the lines of....something small happens early on and you think "well my whole day is ruined" you no expect the rest of the day to suck. Instead, make the choice to say..it's ok today is still going to be great. One trick is everything you think negatively...then take a deep breath and say three positive thoughts. Eventually, you will become a more positive person.You can only control yourself, and being positive is contagious.
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