I am clean for 12 days now. But my day was like shit and I feel horrible. I want to cut. I want to give up. I can’t handle this anymore. I can’t. I’m afraid of disapoint everyone again. I want to cut so badly. I’m already in therapy and my mom thinks I’m 2 months clean.
Hey. I know how tough it can be....
But dont cut, please. It's not worth it. I know its easy for me to say and hard for you to do. But you know what happens when you don't cut? you overcome it! you beat it! you literally step all over it and be like "HA! Who's the winner now?" Everyday you go without cutting, you're a winner and a hero! And not to forget, you're incredibly strong. Just fighting the urge to cut makes you a strong person, not giving in to it. Don't give up, I know it can be a tough road out there. But you shouldnt EVER give up. If you dont give up, continue therapy and hopefully get past your problems, you surely won't disappoint anyone. Everytime you want to cut, think about how your mom would feel, think about your family, your friends, just anyone you love. Would they be happy knowing you're damaging yourself like that? Think about how proud your mom would be and how proud YOU would be of yourself if you stopped cutting and got past this.
I truly wish you can set yourself free and go past this, and just move on in life.
And I genuinely wish you all the best.
Stay strong xx
You need to keep going, keep being as strong as you are being now. Cutting is, from what you tell, a way for you to cope with your reality. However, it solves nothing, and in fact it's damaging you, not just physically, but it's making you ashamed of yourself. If you cut again, you may feel a second or two of release, but then your weight will be even bigger.Your therapist will help you find other ways to cope and manage stress, but personally I find breathing deeply and focusing on my breathing a good way to let go of those feelings. You can try that, and see how it's going. However, the most important thing is that you're still on the fight, and you haven't given up. You're strong. That's a prize in itself!
Well first of all congrats on your 12 days that's great! I have found that it takes a lot of will power to keep yourself from cutting. You have to want to stop and make that decision. I am not going to say that it will be easy I know it's not, in fact it's difficult. Hang in there. Feel free to message me anytime if you would like. Take a deep breath.
I'm becoming an ex-cutter so I'm fighting the same battle. Usually when I get the urge, I find someone to talk to and I tell them that I'm having urges. More often than not, the time I spend talking or chatting is enough to make the urges pass. I may also play video games, take a walk, or put my feelings into my artwork. Occasionally, I've snapped rubber bands on my wrists, but that is also a form of self harm (the lesser of two evils). I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with this. I'll help any way I can. Talk to me.
Honestly, from personal experience.. cutting is like being addicted to heroine,, and when you first stop your body will go through a withdrawal and you are (not putting it nicely) going to feel like complete and total shit.. until your mind has distanced itself from it. You need to keep up with being clean and as hard as it is,, it will get easier. Recovery is NOT a fast process no matter what you are recovering from. You need to take it day by day. In the mean time work on your distraction techniques. I know that you probably don't want to hear this,, but in my opinion, once you cut the urge will always be there and you'll never forget what it feels like to cut,, but it will slowly get easier not to if you give it a chance and distance yourself from the bad for a while. Keep your chin up honey <3 and i'm always willing to talk if you need someone
Yeah, first of all, congratulations on making it 12 days. Like any dependency, the longer you go without the easier it will be and the stronger you'll feel. I found that it helps to do things that make you appreciate your body so you won't want to harm it. Challenge yourself physically and you'll feel more alive in your body and not want to hurt it.