How can I help like you do?

Even though you've only been a venter, every listener you have talked to that has helped you is a good example to draw experience from and use as an example to help others.

Obviously just listening is a good first step. Sometimes people just need to talk about stuff and don't want their problems solved. Sometimes they need to know they are not alone in their situation and that it can and will get better. Often times it's a matter of helping to change people's perspective on a situation. Pain is after all just in our heads.

You also have to realize that sometimes you can't help people, and be ok with that fact too.

People can only be helped as much as they want to be. The biggest part of being there for someone is being there. Pay attention, try to understand, ask questions but be ready to back off. Don't pressure your friends into talking about things they might not want to, but make it clear that you're there to listen if they decide to vent.

I've been on both ends of venting and listening, and I think that the most comforting part of a listener is that they CARE. They want to hear about what's wrong in your life, they understand that it's horrible, and they care. It's comforting to know that you're not alone. If they're making the same mistakes that you did, you're one of the best people to help them.

Sometimes you don't even need to say anything to be there for your friends! If they choose to come to you first, you should feel really special! That mean's that your friends trust you, and value your opinion regarding their problems!If you're looking to give them advice, make sure that it is unbiased. Explore all possible options so that they have a different perspective to look at things. Also, make sure that the conversation is all about them. A key skill to have a listener is to make sure that the venter feels like you truly care about their problem, and that you don't try to make it all about you.However, people also take comfort in the fact that they are not alone, so be relatable! There's really nothing to it, being a good friend and a good listener comes naturally to anyone who cares about their friends :)