How can I cheer up?


I fell head over heels with the WRONG GUY! hes actually a wonderful person, and a good friend, but he is making terrible decisions with his life. he moved from a small town to this city, and we met in college. he is currently in big city party mode and is not considering his future. he is constantly in a relationship and cheating on his current girlfriends with another woman, and than when the first girl dumps him he dates the one he cheated with and the cycle continues…
I on the other hand am planning for my future and making smart adult decisions, and am much more reserved and require more time and effort before intimacy than his women, so I know things between us would not work.
but he is so great to me, and there has been tension between us for a long time, so when he officially started dating the most recent woman I felt a bit depressed.
I know its a small thing, but there is a lot of stress and anxiety in my life right now because of family, financial, friendship, housing, and career issues, so this was just kinda my tipping point today and I cant cheer up. with all his flaws he is still the only person who has shown any care and given me comfort in my times of need over this past year (I repress and deal with things on my own because of a traumatic event in my childhood) so I feel close to him and I guess that is part of why I want to be with him, but now I feel like I cant spend time with him or confide in him because of the girlfriend (us spending time together has caused problems with past girlfriends).
any advice for cheering up and trying to get over this guy?

Category: Tags: asked June 2, 2014

4 Answers

The best thing is to give it time and space. Acknowledge that he isn't the right guy for you and why. Know that there are other better guys around that can appreciate you more than him.
To get over someone you need to give it time, you can do it gradually or all at once, however either way will make the person wonder why your suddenly so unavailable. Whether you choose to tell them or not you should allow yourself to find someone else, in that time having fun when you can by doing something you enjoy or find something that you enjoy.
like the others have said, space and time are healers. Maybe try and talk to him about how you like him as friend and only a friend and that could help clear your head.
Has he actually been as kind to you as you are saying or is he simply filling the void of wanted attention? Guys can say anything, is he truly being a good friend? Food for thought.