Girlfriend’s Birthday – Insists no Present

I would ask her outright whether or not she would like a gift. Personally I feel awkward and uncomfortable when people make a big deal of my birthday or if friends try to do anything. I have one friend who insists on buying me something for my birthday every year and I always tell him not to because I'm very uncomfortable with people spending money on me, but he always does and while I appreciate the intent, I feel uncomfortable accepting a gift but I don't want to insult him by rejecting it either since he went to all the effort!! Its a really uncomfortable situation, and I feel bad no matter what I do! You definitely don't want to trap anyone else in that kind of scenario. If you don't want to talk to her about it and do want to give her something, do something small that you spend little/no money on. Maybe make her a card or something if you really feel you need to, but nothing extravagant if she really doesn't want all the fanfare.

So many many years ago a friend of mine told me she didn't want anything at all for her birthday... I pressed the issue and finally she said "okay then I want a rock... get me a rock." Between the time we had that conversation and the time I would see her for her b-day I had been to Halifax.. Peggys Cove. I found a nice flat rock while I was there. When I got home I painted one side of the rock yellow. Her favourite colour. I then wrote a message on it which was:

"Love Always, Friends Forever"

That was how we signed letters and emails and b-day cards to each other all the time. It is now... some 15+ years later and she still has that rock... it was a big hit.

I don't suggest you make a big deal of her b-day but I don't know anyone that would turn down being made to feel special.

Do something small but passionate for her, get her a small present and just be extra nice. Maybe take her some place but don't make it seem too obvious that it's a present.

(I missed a detail in the title, rewrote) I think you can sit down and discuss with her about how you still feel like you are doing something wrong by not getting her one, and see if you work out a way of meeting in the middle, be it compromising on a dinner out, a couple massage, something to treat her on that day. So you can save yourself possible regret from doing the wrong thing later, because she has conflicting feelings about birthdays and you are in a though position in being expected to observe both opposite desires, implicitly and explicitly.

You could give her a small cute gift,she couldn't possibly mind.As she doesn't want to make a fuss, don't give her a huge gift maybe, but something small but sweet :) And if possible you two could go somewhere and hangout for the day, do fun stuff and all......Make her feel special cause its her B'day :)
P.S. Tell her a stranger wished her Happy Birthday, lol :)