Falling out of Love?

So I have had a crush on this girl for a little over 3 years now, but it has really become more than a crush in the past year. The only issue is that she dates my best friend. Their relationship is kind of rocky but they still both have feelings for each other.

Both she and my best friend know now. I told my friend a couple of months ago when they first “broke up”. He said he didn’t care as long as I respected their relationship. I told her less than a month ago, she said that she respected me for telling her, but that she still had feelings for my friend, and she said that she didn’t want this to affect her and my friendship (she and I are pretty close).

Socially it didn’t change a lot, my friend was not mad at me, she and I were still good friends, and it was not awkward at all. So it is sort of like an “off my chest but not off my mind situation”.

But I still have feelings for her. We are all graduating this year and going to different colleges. I always thought that if I could go on just ONE date with her I would call my dating career in high school a success.

I have trouble trying to create relationships with other girls because I always end up comparing them to her. I cant find any other girl I would want to be with more, and it sucks. In my eyes she just has it all.

What do I do? It bothers me horribly, and I cant do anything to better my situation or get over it. What options do I have?

Category: Dating & Relationships asked October 6, 2013

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AbleJacob

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3 Answers

It is incredibly tough when you're close friends to someone whom you love but know you can't be with. You may move on and get over her in time but a part of you will always love her. I think you're doing the right thing by respecting their relationship yet being honest to each of them about how you feel. Other than that, to be honest there is not much you can personally do. I know it's hard, however that's the way things are unfortunately and you just have to accept it. Though don't feel upset or angry because the future can be very promising, remain friends with them both, in my opinion it's better to stay friends and remain on good terms. It is your choice however, but don't do anything that you'll end up regretting in the future because you may not have the chance to put things right again. If you remain as a good, close friend to her she will hold you dear to her as a very special person while knowing that you love her. So if anything ever happens between her and her current boyfriend she may turn to you for support or even for a relationship.

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Evergreen

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While it is impressive you've held on this long and especially that you got up the gumption to tell her, in this situation, the best advice I can give is for you to let it go. They've been together a long time, there is a lot of history there, and even if they break up, she will be needing time to cope. Also, if you're all going off to college, you'll all probably see each other very rarely (and you'll meet other people). Going on a date with her would make it harder to leave her in the fall. Finally, they've both implored you to respect their relationship and yet you keep entertaining the idea of taking her "on one date." Their relationship is complicated, yes, but it is what they want, so you need to step back and respect that and work on finding a more suitable girl for your current needs. There are plenty out there and you sound like a great kid. :)

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lindseydawn

I believe it was amazing how you told her and your best friend, it was brave and honest. There is not much you can really do especially that won't mess up your friendship with both of them. You could ask her on a date but that probably won't go so well, you could try and forget about her and move on, or you could try waiting for her.

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Not_In_The_Light