For about 5 years I had been trying to pluck up the courage to ask one of my work colleagues out on a date, I like her a lot and thought she liked me too, we have a lot of shared interests and she was single, only thing holding me back was my social anxiety and shyness.
I finally plucked up the courage and asked her to go see a band with me, she said yes, oh joy! then loads of other people from work started asking if they could come along, turns out she thought I was trying to arrange a staff party.
I found a quiet moment with her and explained that I had actually been asking her out on a date, and that I really liked her and hoped we could be more than friends. She then explained that she had a boyfriend who she was happy with and would never see me as more than a friend, then unfriended me on facebook and there have been a lot of awkward silences at work since.
Problem is since then I have been emotionally falling apart, what i had thought was a simple attraction that I would get over has turned out to be something much more, when she told me she had a boyfriend I felt physical pain, I have gone into a very depressed state, not sleeping, crying, all sorts of self loathing.
I know I have no chance with her, I want her to be happy, and she is with her boyfriend.
Is there any way I can deal with this and move on? I dont know if I have fallen in love with her or if I’m having a mental breakdown, possibly even a bit of both. I’m confused, tired , emotional and nearly cried out I think.
So can anyone suggest a way I can get my emotions back under control, work with a woman I have an extreme attraction to which will never be fulfilled and still stay friends? I can’t function in this state much longer.
Thanks for reading
