Ever had that feeling when you enter a room and you feel like youre sucking the fun out of the room?


Do you have that feeling of guilt (i dont know if thats the right term) because you feel like you send off a really heavy air around you when you enter a room full of lively people?

How do you cope with this kind of social situation?

What’s your mentality in this kibd of situation?

Category: Tags: asked December 2, 2014

4 Answers

Hi there.

This is a tricky question, because it depends on the situation! I don't know if you see the lively people change when you enter the room. If you don't, then don't worry about sucking the liveliness out of them.

If they do change, or quiet down, it could be something as simple as that they see you as a serious person and know they should tone it down, if the situation calls for it. Or it could be something else entirely, as in- do you smile when you enter a room? If you are nervous enough and quietly enter a room without waving to a friend or smiling, people are conscious of negative feelings/emotions. If they get that you are sad/upset, THEY won't want to affect YOU with their liveliness.

Try smiling, and see if that makes things better. Smiling is contagious! This doesn't mean you have to be energetic and lively too. All the best etc.
Sometimes it isn't really you. When people have a negative attitude towards you, pehaps you're not their type or you're from totally opposite social worlds, they give off that sort of aura when you're around. Like you've ruined all the fun; the wet blanket, black sheep. It's happened to me. They don't really have to say or do anything, but you see it in their facial expressions and the way all the life in the room sort of dies. It's not you, it's just their understated way of emphasising that you're not one of them. Just show them that their opinion doesn't bother you; being worried on gives them satisfaction. Get people who appreciate your qualities, and show the rest that you couldn't care less.
I have to admit I actually do not smile when I enter a room. It's awkward for me. It's also true that I am a serious person. I'll just be myself, what the heck right?
Thanks for the answers @justaspeck and @justme. You made me less paranoid with my social anxiety.
Yes, this happens to me. But it's psychological, it's just your social anxiety! You just need to tell yourself "this insecurity is not real. It's just my SA messing with me" I'm sure everybody enjoys your presence in the room :)