Ending a Relationship Advice?


The guy I’m dating… I’ve always been told that he’s a douche, and I knew it, and I have no idea why I liked him… or why I’ve started dating him, for that matter. And it’s gotten to the point where I have no idea why I’m with him right now. I don’t even care about him romantically any more. So I’m wondering… how should I tackle this? Obviously, I’m going to have to do something about this, but is there any way for me to do this without seeming like a dick?

Category: Tags: asked October 22, 2013

5 Answers

There is no way to break up with someone without hurting them/look like a dick. What you can do is not make it harder than it should. What you wrote seems pretty complete as a reason, not that you need to explain it to him. Just, sit him down and tell him you want to end it.
Just don't be afraid, that's the key to a breaking up. If you look self-concious, he will realize, and will assume you're not entirely sure you want to break up with him so he'll consider you weak. Therefore will then try to make you feel sympathy for him and you'll feel bad and you won't be able to break-up with him. Be confident, tell him upfront that you don't feel the connection/vibe anymore, that the feeling is not mutual. To top that off so you don't seem like a 'dick' tell him there are many girls who will appreciate him for the person he is and they're luck to have him. Tell him you're sorry, and then just walk away. You can still be friends though, although that doesn't always work out well.
Honestly you shouldn't worry about hurt feelings or anything like that because that's something that's always inevitable in breakups. If he's really a douche then he may not even care. It'll be better to go in and get it over with rather than hold it out any longer than need be. I'm sure things will work out and you'll be happier. Don't focus on him, focus on you.
The pain is unfortunately isn't avoidable. Just be honest with him and end it, because not doing so will just make the situation worse, you'll feel worse, he might pick up on that and start questioning it. The best thing to do is end it if you no longer want to be in it, then both of you can move on and get on with your life.Lots of love xx
The answer to your question is...yeah. There is a way to break up with someone without seeming like a dick.

Having the break-up in person would be a decent start.
I've seen break-ups happen over the phone,
over text,
and even through a third-party mediator.
It's not the way to go.

Honesty is another plus.

You know why you want to break up with this guy.
You could either tell him the truth,
or you could make up a lie, either to preserve feelings from being hurt, or to save face.

Honesty is good.

Lastly, you can save a lot of potential backlash by focusing on why the relationship isn't working for you,
rather than telling this guy what you think is wrong with him.

It's good practice to focus on situational factors,
rather than character flaws.
Relationship satisfaction, in general, greatly depends on this habit.

There might be anger. Tears. Begging and pleading.
That's generally unavoidable.

Good luck.
It's nice of you to have asked for advice on how to handle this with compassion.


It helps to prepare.

The last time I had a break-up, I wrote everything that I wanted to say, down on a piece of paper.

We think that we'll remember exactly what we need to say, when the time comes.

But emotions, they're fickle.
They can wash us astray, when we're caught up in the moment.
Try not to underestimate them.

It helps to prepare.