This is relatively normal. That's not to say it's healthy, but your condition is by no means uncommon. Your fear of others' mockery of you is a product of perceived imperfections in yourself and others. Think about it: how often do you think about going after someone's money or dragging someone along then throwing them away? My guess is never. How often do other people you know (parents, siblings, close friends) talk about maliciously using other people? My guess is never. The truth is, most people aren't that bad. Here's my advice: seek therapy/counseling and build up your self-esteem. The first part of my advice is self-explanatory. The second part is a bit stickier. There are myriad ways to improve self-worth: write about it, get some exercise (it's the best medicine for most problems, in my opinion), seek therapy, go outside, find a hobby and get crackin', delve into religion/spirituality, meditate, or talk to someone about it. Above all, take a cold, hard look at yourself. Sure, you have problems. Everyone does. Maybe you're too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too smart, too stupid, too talkative, too quiet, too angry, too nice. . . you get the idea. Everyone has faults of one kind or another. If everyone was perfect, this world would be extremely boring. Take solace in knowing that you are simply another component of the human condition. You are flawed, and that's what makes you great. In fact, that's what makes everyone great. If we didn't have flaws, how could we appreciate our gifts? Just breathe and let go.
