These thoughts may be from something negative that you have been suppressing over the years. Has anything really bad happened to you such as a traumatic experience (any type of serious accident like a head injury), bullying (pushed around/made fun of/ talked down to), or any type of neglect or verbal/physical abuse from someone close to you (like one or both of your parents). Wanting to harm something usually means that you have been harmed. Someone such as a counselor, doctor, or mentor can help you. Are you usually alone or feel lonely a lot the time? That is a huge sign of depression and may need to make an appointment with a therapist to find the root of the problem. I hope that you won't have to be under a medication. Doing things like taking up a hobby, listening to uplifting music, being interested and focusing on how other people are doing and what they're up to instead of just only focusing on yourself, find a job and keep your mind on that, think of other ways that will keep you busy that you will forget about what you were thinking about, sometimes boredom gives us too much time that we create these awful scenarios in our mind to excite us in someway. How about looking for a girlfriend and telling her whatever you think about? That can release much of the stress you may have. I hope that you feel better :)
