This is going to be a long one so if you sit through this, I love you. Anyway, I had this friend for 10 years, she’s no longer my friend. This only seemed to happen when she got a new boyfriend. I know this was probably wrong of me to do but she started telling me things her boyfriend was telling her and they weren’t adding up. I’ve dated someone who wasn’t a nice person and she’s dated some bad people in her past. I told a mutual friend that was said and we were both worried. On Halloween this year she was supposed to come somewhere with us. Text her the night before, no reply, messaged her on Facebook, no reply. The next day I text her, again no reply. Another mutual friend had to call her and she then asked if she could bring the boyfriend with her, the friend agreed. We met him and he seemed shady. The next day she had moved in with him, we didn’t actually find out until her mother told us. Since then we had tried to message her but she got ignored, some time passed and the boyfriend text me and a mutual friend accusing us of calling him controlling and told us we were awful friends, which we have never been to her and told us to grow up. I told him if he contacts me again I’ll be reporting him because that message give me so much anxiety. We got told not to contact him or that friend again. We did buy her gifts and left them with her mother but we don’t know if they’ve been accepted by the friend or just binned. The other day I found out that my old friend had apparently accused me of causing trouble because I was “jealous” of her boyfriend because they’d been together long than I have with my boyfriend, which isn’t true and because she sees hers everyday and I’m in a long distance relationship. This is out of character for her because she knows I like my space so long distance gives me the time I like to be alone and the time with my boyfriend. Do you think it’s her that’s changed or is this something more sinister?
I think that maybe your friend is being influenced by her boyfriend. He obviously isn't the nicest person and we all know how a guy (or girl) that we like can influence us. It isn't fair but it happens and people change. I think that it is okay to be worried about your old friend, but don't let it get to you. You have been the bigger person during this situation and you need to let yourself relax. Just think of it in this way, someone who is talking about you and accusing you of being jealous of them obviously is being very egocentric. I hope everything turns out for you <3
It could be either one. This type of thing really depends on how much you know your friend and by the sound of it, you know her well. I think its time to decide whether you want to keep trying to be friends or to just stop. If you truely think you can find a way through this then try to contact her by setting up a way to talk to her without her boyfriend around. Maybe talk to her family to see if they saw any changes with her lately. If her family isnt noticing something but you and a couple of friends do they do it with them. Heck even try to talk to her with her boyfriend if you need to!
I think that you are missing out on something that is happening behind closed doors when it comes to your friend giving you the cold shoulder and what not. I agree with lizzie if you do feel you can save the friendship when its hanging by a strand I would give it a go, but due to all the evidence that it is her that is giving you all these weird signals while you are here trying to communicate with her says a lot.