Coping methods?

Alright. So I have this friend who just killed herself. Last night. And she was my best friend in this entire world. We grew up together and had so many plans. We’re in the same classes, we were going to the same college, buying an apartment together. We were going to have the same profession, live right next door, grow old together. We were going to travel the world on a boat equipped with only chicken wings and Mountain Dew. And she was my only friend. She was all I needed. We spent every waking second of every day together. We took turns spending the night at one anothers houses every weekend and often stayed multiple days during the week. We never split up once this summer vacation. We were the same. We were inseparable. We even started watching Doctor Who together with the rule that nobody could watch ahead. We could only watch it together. We did everything together. Everything. We even went on double dates. Everything you could have ever hoped for in a friend, well, that was her. We were going to warped tour together this year and the Burning Man Festival. We’ve been wanting to go to the Burning Man Festival for years. We were saving up our money to drive across the states and camp under the stars. She was all I ever had and needed in the world. She was always there for me. Always. And now she’s gone. And my mind hasn’t even accepted it yet. I borrowed a dress from her and keep trying to remind myself to put it in my bag to give to her on Monday and then it hits me. She won’t be to school on Monday. She won’t be there anymore. All of my future plans are just gone. And I literally cannot do a thing without being reminded of her. Her parents say she got me a christmas present and want to give it to me early. It’s Chuckie the doll. I got her the bride of chuckie. It was our plan for a while. Since we saw the dolls at Spencer’s at the mall. I don’t really know what to do anymore. It’s just… gone. I don’t know how to handle it. I’ve only been crying. And I can’t even listen to music much because we liked the same stuff. The bands remind me of her. We were going to start our own band. Neither of us can play an instrument but. Still. It was our plan. We were even going to start a youtube channel together and become youtube famous. But I kept putting it off saying we had loads of time to do it. We have our English project due tomorrow. We were supposed to present it to the class. I’m not going. I’m not presenting her part for her. She needs to be here. I’m not doing it on my own.

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Cradle of filth

3 Answers

I cannot imagine what you must be going through right now.My list of coping skills:go for a long walk; deep breathing; clean up/organize something; talk; stay in the moment; watch funny youtube videos; write; draw; paint; color ; ask for help; read; journal; write; come up w/ more coping skills; sing; knot a bracelet/bookmark; cross stitch; make jewelry; drink something hot (not too hot); make/edit videos; hugging pets, petting pets; work on expanding vocab; meditate; watch TV; play an instrument; help someone else; type up a story snap a rubber band (not too many times) stroke something soft positive self talk rub in hand lotion scribble on sheets of paper be with other people paint your nails do schoolwork look up at the sky let yourself cry watch a candle burn (be safe, don't play w/ flame) rip paper hug someone/a pillow scream write letters/emails talk to yourself build a pillow fort play with modeling clay/play doh do something you've been putting off search for ridiculous things on the internet play the "15 minute game" (set an amount of time, say "I just have to get through the next 5/10/15 minutes" then repeat, etc) alphabetize books try to make words out of other words play with a slinky blow bubbles play with toys/dolls write yourself a nice letter play a computer game write a letter to a useful inanimate object rearrange your room drink some tea stretch watch a funny movie eat your favorite snack focus on self compassion compliment someone create a schedule for your day make a list of books you've read make a list of books you want to read aromatherapy make a collage squeeze a stress ball punch a pillow look up jokes "What do I need right now?" go window shopping contemplate a random subject look up a random picture on the internet, stare at it, notice details, make up a story about it hold ice focus on your breathing rub skin w/ a toothbrush imagine your happy place use a pillow to hit a wall in your room play video games choose a random object and list many uses for it (be as silly as you want) examine an object and write about it, include details start a blog put on red lipstick talk/rant to fave stuffed animal do a writing exercise/prompt write a letter to someone in your future repeat an obscenity of your choiceI really hope at least one of those helps you at least a little bit.

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L B

From personal experience, take some time to cry it out, to mourn, to grieve. It's perfectly fine to feel this way as I did for my mom. Let your emotions out, bottling them up won't help you in any way. Surround yourself with friends and family so not only do you have someone to rely on but also have moments where they can briefly take your mind off of your best friend. Do not, and I beg of you, do not do things that will burden you or things that you think will distract you because it does the complete opposite. Also, it would be a good idea to think about counseling. It really does help with the grieving process. Stay positive, stay strong, and stay healthy. Don't deprive yourself of life's necessities. I wish you good luck on your grief journey and feel free to message me if you need any help.

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juliang

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I'm not going to give you false hope. It will hurt for a long time. It may never completely heal. But it will get better. I can promise you that.As for your project? Don't go to school on monday. It's going to be too hard to make it through the day, and you'll just become numb. Numb is not going to help you. Give yourself time to mourn. Ask if you can be excused from the project. Your teacher is most likely going to be fine with that. You just lost your best friend.Making new friends is going to be hard. But you have to do it. If you don't, it's going to just spiral.The next coming year is going to be the hardest of your life. It won't be good, it's going to be a struggle to get up in the morning. Make sure that you do. You can't get better until you struggle through it all.To cope? Don't cope. It doesn't help. I know this from experience. It's not going to help. But if you have to?Read, listen to music, go for a run. Go swimming. Do something crazy. Just get out from your house.

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