Anorexic scared

wow okay I wouldnt call starving yourself to lose weight fast or lazy.....dangerous yes but fast? It took me a lot of time to lose a significant amount of weight with my ED because it slows down your metabolism so much. and lazy? Not a bit. It is a MENTAL disorder that anyone can have and has nothing at all to do with the type of person you are. Its also not only about losing the weight. It often disguises itself as that when it is really a coping mechanism for past issues or a way to feel as if you are gaining control in your life. Sweetie I know how strong the anorexia voice can be but you HAVE to be stronger. you are stronger, you just have to prove that to the voice. Recovery is worth it I promise. it will be incredibly hard and you will have many bad days when you want to quit but you cant give up. I promise you will live such a happier life if you choose to recover from this. Think of your options. You can fight this and recover, live a healthy life, not worry about numbers all day, eat foods you enjoy and not feel guilty, improve your relationships with others and your self confidence and grow stronger from your expirience or you can let the horrible voices win and overtake your life. LOSING WEIGHT WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY. I guarantee it. It may give you a false sense of happiness when you start losing again, but eventually you will go back to feeling unsatisfied. Like you need to keep losing more and more. You may think you have a goal weight and can stop once you get there, but by the time you reach it you will have a new one in mind. The same thing repeats over and over again. Its a never ending cycle. Anorexia has one goal weight. zero. The disease wants you to keep losing weight till you eventually die. It will lie and tell you its helping you and improving your life by keeping you thin but that is one of the biggest lies of all. Please please please give recovery another chance and fight this horrible disease.

As for the first comment, it's obvious you don't have too much experience with the disease, to say that it is lazy is so insulting. And as for the second, thank you. My mind is telling me to reach out to someone for help, but only after I lose the ten that I gained and another ten so that when they start feeding me at recovery I'll still look thin for about 30 pounds. I know that this is wrong but I still feel as though there is no other way