Am I wrong for being mad??

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So I decided that it would be best not to sleep with the guy that I have been dating even though he thinks I am ready. Last night he called me and started talking about the dirty things he would try to do to me if we ever did have sex. The problem is he told me when we first started talking that he was a virgin, then a few weeks ago he confessed he only had sex with one girl. I caught him use the word girls in plural so I asked him how many girls has he really slept with and it’s more than one. I know he slept with all of these girls before we even knew each other but the fact that he kept lying about the number makes me think. After a few months of dating he told me he wanted me to be the one to take his virginity and I thought he was being sincere but now I know he wasn’t a virgin in the first place and he just wanted to get in my pants. I told him that I didn’t think I was ready for sex yet and he said he understood but am I wrong for being mad that he’s slept with a few people even though he says I am the first girl he has ever loved??

asked March 12, 2014

5 Answers

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You have every right to be mad that he lied. And that he apparently lied to get you to agree to have sex with him. I don't think you have any reason to be mad that he slept with other girls per se. Maybe it's a misdirection of anger about his dishonesty?
(Also if he lied about sex is he maybe lying about love? That might be something to think about too.)
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You are totally not a bad person for being angry. He should have been honest with you, instead of lying like that.
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You have a right to be angry about the lies. Frankly you should be suspicious about that. Is there a chance that you know any of the girls he slept with? And again please do not have sex with him until you are 100% certain you are ready. Also if he tries to pressure you into sex then that should be a red flag.
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You deserve better than him. He is lying to get in your jeans. You deserve your first time with someone who is completely in love with you, someone who loves you enough to be honest. Please don't "short change" yourself. You are worth more than a little boy with lies. You need a man that knows how to wait for you and that loves you without the pressure of sex.
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Fuck that. Unfortunately, there are a lot of liars in the world. The fact that he said he wanted you to be his first, and he's actually not a virgin, is sketchy as fuck. I recommend you stay away from him.