My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years and four months and have been friends for almost seven years. When we first started dating it was perfect, we were always talking on msn/yahoo or texting each other, we video chatted, and even talked to each other over the phone, I even sent her letters because I thought it was more romantic and personal. Despite the fact that she lived in the US and I live in Canada, it felt like she was always with me. Whenever we had problems we would talk it out and make it work. We both tried our hardest to make the distance not a big deal. This worked for a very long time. But the past six months she hasn’t really been contributing to any conversations I start, so I thought maybe I was just not talking about things she wanted to talk about, so I would ask her what she wants to talk about and all she would ever say is “I don’t know.” I figured it was no big deal at first and that I would just keep it up and try and find something for us, but after six months of this I feel like I’m forcing her to talk to me when she would rather be doing other things. Then I got the brilliant idea that maybe we should do skype calls because then she doesn’t have to worry about always clicking the conversations and typing what she wants to say. But whenever I bring it up she said that she was busy or the timing wasn’t right; I thought that was fine and whatever, I mean I understand her world doesn’t revolve around me so I was patient and never forced it, brought it up a few more times throughout the month and finally she told me that she doesn’t like to skype call with me because it makes her feel “wrong.” I’m the first girlfriend she’s ever had and her parents don’t know that she’s a lesbian, so even though it really hurt me I told her I understood and didn’t bother her about it anymore. On our one year anniversary she had come down to Canada and stayed with my family for three weeks, and I had planned to do the same with her for our two year, but in the end couldn’t because she said she didn’t want to talk about it and that the timing wasn’t right. Again I understood I’m not the biggest thing in her life and needed to back off, so I waited a few months and talked to her about it again and got the same answer. I finally had a bit of a break down and told her that we need to fix our relationship before there isn’t one to fix anymore. I was feeling ignored and hurt. I felt as if I was the only one working on talking and putting ideas out there for how we can be closer. She apologized and said that she would work on it. Sadly nothing had changed, but I decided to give her some time. A couple months later I decided I needed to bring it up again and told her that I feel like I’m bothering her every time we talk that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore, she apologized again and said we would work on it. Nothing changed. I finally told her that maybe we should go on a break just to think about all of this. I hated every second of the time that we weren’t together as a couple, but it just seemed as if she didn’t care. After about a month I decided it had been long enough and we could try and work things out, and once again she apologized and said we would work it out. As you can probably guess nothing has changed. I’ve talked to my friends about this and they think I should break up with her and that I’m going through a lot of pain and suffering for someone who obviously doesn’t care as much for me as I do them. I really love my girlfriend and I don’t want to break up with her, I have a lot of commitment issues and she’s the first person I’ve ever been with for so long, I’ve never loved someone as much as I love her. But I feel like with every passing day my heart is being broken more and more. Am I overreacting? Is this all normal and I’m just making a huge deal out of it, or is my friends right? I really need an unbiased opinion here…
