Am I bad person who doesn’t tolerate people?


So lately people have been getting on my nerves. People tell me I have the patience of a saint but lately I find myself not thinking very saintly. I have a best friend in professional school and we are working on a group project together and she came up with this idea that she wanted to add on to a project after she told me that our project was shitty (I did all the work by the way) then she has the nerve to ask me to add on to the project her idea and I was like no. Ive done the work already. So I was frustrated with that! and then I got home and my roommate wanted to talk to me because we go surveillance cameras in our home (because there had been suspicioun of robbery in our home) but the surveillance cameras hadn’t been working and so I plugged it in to the side of the room, and she was upset because I guess it had finally turned on. (I had asked her before if they are okay and she said yes, but then I saw her putting a towel on top of it) anyways so it wasn’t working and then it did and so she was telling me that she doesn’t want them on while she’s home and I was like I didn’t know they were on because they weren’t working, and she suggested I return them. (Heres the back story , i’m in medical school I sometimes don’t have time to eat, not to mention I do everything around here that has to do with maintenance of the house, I buy the dish soap I have to call the land lords when something breaks, EVERYTHING IS ON ME!) so I snapped at her and told her that I do not have time to deal with it.
THEN, my sister wants to borrow a dress of mine, I’m really opposed to my sisters borrowing my dresses because they usually stain them or something happens to them. This dress is also sentimental to me because it is my profile picture on Facebook and it is with my cousin who passed away earlier this year, and i’m just not comfortable with her wearing it. Mainly for sentimental values but also because I don’t like people borrowing my clothes., I don’t borrow my sisters clothes I expect them not to borrow my clothes.
Anyways today she called me and asked again and then I snapped at her and tole her why and then again told her my reasoning. Am I being unreasonable or are people just too much?

Category: Tags: asked June 6, 2015

2 Answers

Everyone has a breaking point, even the most tolerant or patient person. You are not a bad person for snapping off a few times. You can talk with your partner and roommate politely how you felt frustrated and suggest a compromise an even split up of work, without yelling or shouting at them. One person cannot handle everything at once. Those people in a project or as a roommate needs to take responsibility, not always relying entirely on one person. Also you're not unreasonable for not wanting your sister to borrow your clothes. They are your property and you have absolute ownership over it.
To put it bluntly, absolutely not. There's a difference between being rude and generally doing everything to avoid people, and sometimes getting frustrated when you find yourself in certain situations. We all reach a point where we just snap and have had enough.

It's not fair to ask you to do everything, or completely disregard all your efforts you put in like your friend did when she pretty much implied that her idea was better. After the fact that you already started. Nor should you carry all the responsibility, your roommate lives there too. You are not her mother, you're both adults here and should contribute together. It's a team effort, both things and it's about time you put your foot down and stop letting them use you. As for your sister, you have the right to decide over your own closet and what she can and cannot borrow and she needs to respect that. Take a couple of breaths and try talking to them calmly, explain your point of view and let them know how their actions , or lack off, has affected you.

Take some time to yourself, find someway to de-stress. We all have our moments, but that doesn't make you a bad person. Just the simple fact that you asked this question tells me you care enough about the others.