there must be something wrong with me I’m 21 and still living with my mother who seems to be physiologically abusing me to try and get me to leave. contestant questions about my weight and why am i so useless and still living with her as she has “done her duty” are really getting me down.
i try and talk to her but that doesn’t work when i say anything she blows up in my face and it starts all over again she just doesn’t understand. i would move out but money is an issue i just can’t afford it alone i try to explain this and i still get it thrown back at me ten times worse.
i don’t what to do any more i don’t why she hates me but she can’t love me if she did she wouldn’t say such things to hurt me all the time.
“GET OUT, YOUR USELESS, YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING, YOUR JUST GOING TO ROT AWAY IN TO NOTHING, YOU SO SELFISH IN STAYING AT HOME, WHY SHOULD I CARE MY DUTY IS DONE, GO RUNNING TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO CARES MORE THEN I DO, YOU WILL NEVER FIND LOVE LOOKING THEY WAY YOU DO, YOUR FAT AND A PAIN IN THE ASS, I’M SICK OF LOOKING AFTER PEOPLE MAINLY YOU”
the thing is i pay board depending on how much she wants at the time, i sleep in the box room with isn’t even 3×3 meters when there is a spare bedroom and bed three times bigger then the one I’m in now and i don’t hardly eat anything in the kitchen i buy most of my food and toiletry’s and i don;t even come out of that room only to let the dog out when it needs to go and that’s it.
i started self harming again. and i need some shimmer of hope to stop me from cutting any harder then i already do. i need someone to tell me it’s going to be ok because i have cried myself to sleep for the past month only to be told to shut up
please help
