Alive, but not living, help!

2

Hi,

I feel like I’m actually not living, I’m just waiting for my life to get better and it doesn’t.

All I do in my life now is work and sleep.

If I find any free time that I have, I find myself confused and lonely and don’t know what to do with that free time and I end up being nervous.
because of that I end up a lot watching porn ( which I don’t enjoy, I just try to pass time and stop myself from thinking )

I don’t enjoy doing any activities currently. I get the chance to travel to the most amazing places in the world, but I don’t do that because I know I won’t enjoy it.

I’m not sure how to get control of my life and enjoy it and I’m starting to get really tired of this.

Any advice or help regarding this ?

Category: Tags: asked August 14, 2014

2 Answers

3
It would be completely useless to tell you that you need to be positive and willing to do new stuff n' shit 'cause when you have depression, simple happy things in life seem like weird puzzles you can't get through. Instead, I'll try and advise you based on my experience with the shitty feeling of nothingness.

When I felt like crap, I used to write and draw a lot. I got inspiration from feeling like nothing was actually inspiring. It's hard to sit in front of a blanck page and turn it into something new, but depression won't get out unless you want it to, and sometimes talking it out just won't make it. Try and draw or wrote what you feel. It may even let you understand yourself more.

This other thing may sound like you're forcing randomness out of you, but it feels good to actually get into it. Set up a weekly routine made only out of weird, random stuff you wouldn't normally do. To this day i celebrate "Casual Wednesday", which is a day exclusive to selfies with deforming filters. Of course it doesn't have any psychological beneift, but at least it gives me something to look up to other than the weekend, have some milestones along the way and laugh without the need of crappy jokes and other people to tell them. You may as well be intrested in setting up a day to have any sort of asian food, for example, and religously respecting it, getting the asian food or whatever only that day. As I said, they're tiny milestones for you to get out of a structured routine and still keeping some sense and organization, as it is extremely hard to get to do stuff when saying "Well, what do I want to do today?"

The last thing i'd so like you to try is Youtube. I follow science channels like Vsauce, Veritasium, Think Fact, Minute Science and ASAP Science as if they were gods. I'm not that into science, but I enjoy facts and fun animations. At the same time, I learn shit and keep myself from watching any other crap laying around. There are always new videos coming out. That kind of 'renovation' is one of the main things that got me out of a routine. An excellent channel that serves as a good example from this is Good Mythical Morning. It comes out every day very early, for you to watch it before you go to work. It's basically a talk show with diverse topics and facts, everyday a new topic. They're funny, intresting and lovable, and probably the best escape from someone who does the same thing over and over everyday.
1
I have severe depression, I'm that way most of the time. Some advice would be to try to make some new friends, maintain healthy relationships with them, start a new hobby, call an old friend, do something! I can't really explain it- but just try to be happy, try to see the good in things, the positive. when you have an opportunity to do something new, think "I might like that, I wanna give this a try" don't think that your not going to like it because you don't know that for a fact, just, find healthy and happy things to do cx