adult step kids

I don't think it's a problem you have, you're a perfectly rational thinking human being. Considering the two of you are starting a business venture, he should be a bit more understanding and responsible himself with the way he dishes her cash.

It's just that, her being his daughter, she sort of comes first in his eyes as I can see that being the case to his blindness, causing him to enable her lack of independence.

She does sound irresponsible, but I think the best way to get through to him is to start taking some measures of your own? Nothing like an ultimatum or anything because he'd obviously choose his daughter, but making him aware the consequences of what he's doing, how it's affecting your relationship with him, his daughters future, and your business venture.

Or if you've tried that, have you thought about talking to her instead? Maybe encouraging her to get a job, helping her look for one, asking what her goals are career wise? Maybe helping and connecting with her may be a better solution.

Might I suggest 22SD (step daughter) is the newest employee in your new business? If you employ her she is making salary rather than free loading. If she has never had a job it could be difficult to just jump right in and get one on her own. But, if she learns a work ethic, some skills, and earns a reference and money for her expenses. The better she does the better raise she can have. No job is going to give her the flexibility you can with her child.

Also, it could be beneficial for you to start writing down exactly what it is in a monetary value what this child is burning through. Such as on March 24- car tires - $1,200. Lap Top - $600. And totaling it up every month all year long. Sometimes it is a real eye opener for people to see where their money is going.

That being said you are going to need to keep working on finding a middle ground with your partner. It's not going to be easy but for your relationship and for the 22SD...it's going to make a big difference.

You aren't doing anything wrong in feeling this way. Your partner definitely has some issues and doesn't realize he's doing his daughter more harm by being such a huge safety net. A one year old child yet has never had a job? Not only do you need to confront your partner about the safety he's being, but how he's obviously failed to instill any sense of responsibility in his daughter. You can say these things in a way that says you care that his daughter his successful and that she can't ever get to that if he's giving her all these things, thus creating a false sense of success and self worth.Also, if he's this reckless about his resources, then maybe getting into business with him isn't a good idea. Unless of course him being her safety net doesn't take away from him being a good business partner, then you simply need to approach him as a friend who cares about the path his daughter is taking. Because if something ever happens to him, she will become dependent on men in general to take care of her, which is a dangerous path for a young woman to get comfortable on.