Accidentally Dodged His Kiss…Even Though I REALLY Like Him…HELP


Ok, so I met this guy last week and we hit it off and he invited me out for drinks. I decided I wasn’t good to drive (I did not intend to get drunk on the first date, I know that’s a bad move and I’m kicking myself!), so he drove me home. When he pulled up to my apartment and I unbuckled my seatbelt, I looked up at him and could tell he was about to kiss me. I leaned in closer but somehow something came over me and last minute jerked away and went in for a hug. He ended up kissing my cheek and it was super awkward. I’m pretty sure he just said, “oh.” I wasn’t really ready to kiss yet, maybe that’s why I had that involuntary reaction, but I feel realllyyyy stupid! I got out of that car as quick as I could while still trying to be polite.
(Sidenote: I think I could have reacted that way too because my last relationship was all mind game-y and he would always demand or force a kiss on me whenever he took me home, so maybe it was just like flashbacks to that or something.)
Anyway, the next day I texted him in the evening telling him I had work off tomorrow in case he wanted to hang out. I usually don’t initiate texts but I felt like I had to communicate that I was still interested. He texted back soon after saying he had work but should (if he wasn’t too tired) be hanging around a particular neighborhood afterwards with some friends and he invited me along. I had fallen asleep and didn’t respond yes until the next day when he was already at work. Then later he sent a sort of cryptic text saying he was actually just going to watch a tv show (that I also watch, but he would have no way of knowing that) with a buddy and that his other pals were out and that we should maybe meet up later in the week and do something outdoorsy (as we had discussed on our first date). It was a weird mixture of information so I just said that that was cool and I would be down for some exploring.
I ended up going to that neighborhood anyway, to hang out with a friend who lives there and watch said tv show (because he reminded me) at a bar. Anyway, after the show finished, I got to my car and started to drive home. I was at a four way stop when the other car stopped for a second and then drove on. I’m not 100% sure, but I’m almost positive it was him. We were headed in the same direction, but he made the light and I didn’t, so I never got to investigate (I know that sounds creepy). I have no idea if realized I was the other person in the car. He does know what my car looks like, but I have a common car, so who knows.
Anyway, I don’t really feel hurt that he ended up in that neighborhood anyway. I feel that maybe it was just miscommunication or he ended up getting coerced by his friends to go out. Maybe if I understood him better I could have invited him to watch it with my friend and I.
But I haven’t heard from him since I texted him back saying it was cool if he bailed. I’m wondering what he’s feeling since I dodged his kiss. Confused? Hurt? Rejected? Should I keep pursuing so he knows I’m interested? I am going bowling with some friends tomorrow and thought about inviting him? I want to be clear that I don’t want this to be platonic. I want to date him. I REALLY like him, and I think he really likes me. It would be tragic if it ended because of something this stupid. What should I do?

Category: Tags: asked October 21, 2013

2 Answers

I did the same thing to my significant other when we first started dating. He had tried to kiss me when we were hanging out, and I moved away from him TWICE. So I wouldn't worry about it. Just be open with him. As cliche as it may sound, communication really is key. Explain that you were nervous and if you truly don't think you're ready to bring your relationship to that level, explain that too. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you being hesitant, and hopefully he will understand that. If not, there is someone better for you out there. No worries. :]
First, it sounds to me like you are trying too hard. When you try too hard, it can turn guys off from a woman. The kiss scenario was likely confusing to him, and he may have picked up from it that you have had bad experiences in the past that are still affecting you. What I can recommend is just give it some time, and wait for him to talk to you. If he does reply to you, that will mean that he is still thinking about you, and most likely still interested as well. Just be patient, and remain collected and calm. Try not to get attached, as this will only cause heartache should things not turn out for the better, and attachment can seriously cloud your mind and turn you into a completely different person. Just go about your own life as you have been; be yourself and don't let the situation burden you. Things tend to fall into place more often than not if a person allows them to do so.