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    madmath posted an update 6 years, 3 months ago

    So this afternoon I’m really depressed. For no real reason. I just keep bursting out in tears.

    I’m feeling really self conscious, especially about my acne (which is really bad, I was on prescription medicine for it until my grandma stopped me from using it when she read the potential side affects list. She is paranoid about meds because of a bad experience she had).

    Psychologically I know I’m not ugly. I mean I have a nice body (men Have talked to my boobs rather than my face and I get a lot of compliments on my ass). And People from school have said things like “well we can’t all be gorgeous like you. Some of us actually need make up.” (I only wear makeup when dressing up fancy cause it aggravates my acne).

    But this knowledge doesn’t help. No matter how much I remind myself.

    Then I remembered something that happened a few months ago, and it really upset me. So I was at the store and this old Native American Lady walked up to me and said, “I’m sorry about your face. I’ll pray for you.” and I was Like “What?” because I was really confused and offended that she would walk up to somebody and say that. I have enough self-esteme issues as is. So she replied “Your face, I’t looks bad. I’ll pray for you” Talking slowly and making big hand gestures because I think she thought I didn’t understand (she did have kind of a thick accent). I don’t remember my reply then but I remember being really upset. I mean in what culture is it ok to walk up to someone and say something like that. I’m sure she meant it nicely but to someone with depression (and you can’t tell if someone has depression by just looking at them, I hid it from my family for two years.) it comes off as a “I’m sorry you’re so ugly. I’m going to pray so we don’t have to look at your face anymore.”

    Mood : Depressed
    • Please try to think positively about yourself @madmath, be kind and good to yourself, you are beautiful inside and out, remember to be comfortable with yourself as well, don’t let anyone bring you down, hold your head up high and keep going, focus on all the things that make you smile and that make you feel upbeat, you can do this, everything will be OK, I’m always here if you need someone to talk too, message me anytime if you want, my inbox is always open, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • Thank you. And I had tried all of the home remedies for acne that i could find online. I haven’t had more than four m&ms in months and I only drink soda on rare occasions. my gran is a health nut. I need the prescription and i’ll be able to get it again once i get to college. Thanks for your kind words.

    • Thank you for your kind words. When I figure out how the messaging thing works i just might message you.