So this afternoon I’m really depressed. For no real reason. I just keep bursting out in tears.

I’m feeling really self conscious, especially about my acne (which is really bad, I was on prescription medicine for it until my grandma stopped me from using it when she read the potential side affects list. She is paranoid about meds because of a bad experience she had).

Psychologically I know I’m not ugly. I mean I have a nice body (men Have talked to my boobs rather than my face and I get a lot of compliments on my ass). And People from school have said things like “well we can’t all be gorgeous like you. Some of us actually need make up.” (I only wear makeup when dressing up fancy cause it aggravates my acne).

But this knowledge doesn’t help. No matter how much I remind myself.

Then I remembered something that happened a few months ago, and it really upset me. So I was at the store and this old Native American Lady walked up to me and said, “I’m sorry about your face. I’ll pray for you.” and I was Like “What?” because I was really confused and offended that she would walk up to somebody and say that. I have enough self-esteme issues as is. So she replied “Your face, I’t looks bad. I’ll pray for you” Talking slowly and making big hand gestures because I think she thought I didn’t understand (she did have kind of a thick accent). I don’t remember my reply then but I remember being really upset. I mean in what culture is it ok to walk up to someone and say something like that. I’m sure she meant it nicely but to someone with depression (and you can’t tell if someone has depression by just looking at them, I hid it from my family for two years.) it comes off as a “I’m sorry you’re so ugly. I’m going to pray so we don’t have to look at your face anymore.”