Hey I don’t know you at all but I know your story very well. I was about to post an update in the likes of this as I feel how you do. I never had a real problem with a blah member before but I have it daily with real life strangers and even family members. This world is cold and tough and sadly most people don’t give a crap about anyone but themselves but it’s for you to decide if you want to be like them and feed into their darkness. You must find your light out of this dark tunnel called life. I don’t think you a bad person I simply think you’re a human that’s hurt and dealing with it the best way you can as of now. I wished death of people too but do that means I’m going to hell? I highly doubt it. Again, don’t let this world eat you up. Fight and if you ever need a friend, message me. Not everyone is bad and I’m trying to learn that myself. Good luck with everything.

Please don’t think like that @vvvv, you are a much appreciated member of the Blah community, this site needs to have good people on it, be kind to yourself and know you will find your place in the world, smile and keep fighting, you will beat all your struggles and come out stronger, go forward with confidence and never give up, you can do it, I’m always here if you need to chat or vent, feel free to inbox me anytime, you are never alone (hugs)

But I’m not hurt. I’m just like this. I haven’t been bullied. My parents didn’t abuse me until I turned 15. And I’ve always been like that. And it has been getting worse since I was 12. Now I can’t live normally anymore. I’m an outcast even in a group of other outcasts. I wish I had a friend but I can’t bond with people. I know that everyone wishes others death sometimes. But I’m honestly happy whenever something happens to others. I’ve been trying to make people hurt themselves or drive them to the edge of committing suicide for fun. I’m a worthless pest, even though I haven’t chosen this. I’m also way too old to be joking about this crap. I don’t feel guilty, but I feel disgust towards myself. I wish I could talk with you and have you as a friend. But it could never work out. I could never bond with anyone. I really wish I had a friend. But I can’t care about them no matter what. I always hope it changes. But I get disappointed over and over again. When I realize that I start losing my respect for them and stop caring and I can’t go back anymore. I wish I had someone to talk with and that it doesn’t happen. I’m not fit to be there on the world. I have tried for years and it’s getting worse. I have been at countless therapists but nobody could help. I have taken medication with no results. There is no way out of this. I won’t start caring about people as I can’t, physically. I’ve tried to talk to someone anonymously and she said I deserve it for who I am. I messaged one person and she didn’t reply even after I wrote her 20 messages about myself.

@layla95 sorry. I forgot how the tagging works here

@tanisha I have tried a big amount of meds and nothing helped. I have been at around 20 therapists and nobody helped either

I just can’t man. It doesn’t work like this. Not for that.

@vvvv trust me I was and still is the way you are. Don’t doubt yourself and underestimate yourself or others. If you’re really up for trying to see if we could be friends, message me. I won’t give up on you or anyone on here unless you state that or simply stop responding.