Ok here goes – my world has fallen apart, I have found out that my husband has been cheating on me. He has been struggling with depression generally for about the last year. but we were ok (or so I thought) then in the last couple of weeks he became kind of distant from me which I assumed was because of his depression but then I noticed he was taking his mobile phone with him everywhere, even into the bathroom! Naturally this rang a warning bell and I’m ashamed to say when he did finally leave his phone lying around I snooped and sure enough found a text which ripped my world apart! The girl in question is someone he works with (what a cliché) and they have formed a friendship which seems to have become flirty very quickly. I confronted her (in a calm way) and asked her to tell me exactly what happened as I know my husband would not tell me the whole story, he took her out for a drink a couple of weeks ago and then again just last week. The first drink was in the evening and he told me he was going out with a group of lads and I believed him. I did think it was odd that he got in around midnight as he gets up really early for his job and is usually really fastidious about going to bed early. He told me the next day all about his fun evening and how he’d gone out with these 3 lads and they’d played pool and then gone back to someone’s house and played on the x-box and lost track of time – all of which I now know is a whopping great lie – he went out for a drink with this girl and was having such a great time he couldn’t tear himself away – he and she have both said they only kissed at the end of the evening and I kind of believe this although the thought of that even makes me feel sick. The text I saw from him to her was asking her what she would like to happen the next time they went out so I guess that he was testing the water to see if she would sleep with him! Anyway whatever sexual contact they may or may not have had – they kissed, he lied to me and was intending to cheat on me! I know he is very depressed but I feel so devastated and bitter because I’ve been trying to be really supportive to him through his depression and also we have always had a good sex life (or so I thought) but I obviously wasn’t enough for him! He was going to leave when I confronted him and he left and went to a hotel for the night – I was panicking and so worried as we have 2 children and the youngest is only 5 and I know how devastated she would be! Anyway the next day (Monday) I took a deep breath and sent him a text asking if he wanted to talk. He said yes and came home, with flowers and apologies and said he is going to see a counsellor to sort his head out, that it’s taken something like this to happen to make him realise how much he loves me. I was initially so relieved and happy I agreed but now the dust has settled a little I am starting to get really angry and also really down about myself, I hate the way I look and feel I must be really boring otherwise he wouldn’t have been looking for a diversion. Please any advice would be appreciated as I am in bits!