WalkWithMe said 9 years, 9 months ago:

Yeah… I’ve had one of those. It wasn’t for me. One obvious problem is that it’s very rare to “see” someone and not one or the other develop feelings. With me, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that it left me feeling kind of empty and gross. I really desired to connect with someone on a deeper level, so it was unsatisfying in that sense. And then I struggled with thoughts like, “So, you’re good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to BE with.” I think it just really depends on your personality type and where you are in life. If you’re really content in being single, don’t desire a romantic relationship, and aren’t the type to get jealous or take it personally when your “friend” finds a true romantic interest, it could work. The circumstances REALLY have to be just right for it to work and not have any ill effects… It’d be really hard to come by. I’d say just make sure you know yourself and your intentions going in and talk that over with your friend. Make sure you’re on the same page.

Swifting said 9 years, 9 months ago:

Friends with benefits only work for the majority of people if you’re not friends. You have to just have the sex and leave. No texting about things not related to the bedroom allowed.

Now don’t get me wrong – there are people like myself – who don’t get emotional attachment over sex. However; I’ve began to realize this is few and far between.

LittleLychee said 9 years, 9 months ago:

I have one, it suits us as an arrangement fine. Neither of us wants, or is really in a good place to be in, a relationship. We have a mutual understanding. We have a laugh together, and the sex is good.

Deleted User said 9 years, 9 months ago:

Lol, max time period is 3 months in my book. I have been doing a fling for 4, gonna end it soon. I did end it after 2 months, but she pleaded, and I guess I am weak..
Honestly though, 1 year without discussing what you are is just plain stupid… like its obvious you want him, so bloody sort it out, it aint a fling no more.
Maybe its harder for women, but, I have multiple fwbs, so you don’t really get attached to any.
Like for swifting, I imagine your unique line of work, demands you dont get attached, considering you are successfully married and all:)

Deleted User said 9 years, 9 months ago:

Well, I guarantee you, you just dont let go of a person after 1 year of sex with just 1 partner, without feeling anything, even if you are a schizoid or some emotionless person..
Maybe there is no feeling of attachment now, but, when it comes to ending it, there will be.
Like, why have you even let it go on for so long, if you feel nothing, or are you secretly hoping he wants something more? your fwb might be the reason, you have not even looked for other options, imo!!
I have been in this situation albeit never for that long, it doesnt end pretty, its like someone unintentionally gets hurt, coz we are too cool to talk about how we are having sex for 1 year and half, ive not even fucked anyone else, but its cool, we are just friends:)..

Like a fling doesnt last that long love, wake up!!

Janelle said 9 years, 9 months ago:

True. I suppose we’ll have a conversation soon considering I’ll be moving away and we won’t really be seeing each other much.

There are details I never expanded on:
We don’t really talk to each other outside of the bedroom. We just ask if the other is busy and if not, we get to it. We have talked about when I move, and we said that we’d enjoy the summer and stop once I move away. I feel alright about it, honestly. I mean, I hope I don’t get all crazy and miss him when we’re not seeing each other anymore, but I don’t think I will.

Thanks for opening my eyes to possibilities though, I know it’s definitely something we need to talk about.

Keesh said 9 years, 9 months ago:

I’m all for friends with benefits. I think ultimately you have to consider the possibility of someone catching feelings. It may seem cliche, but it happens.
I think that when you move away you will miss him. I had/have a guy that I established a bedroom relationship with. I then moved to another state & I miss him or our relationship & he’s told me several times that he misses me as well.
Just be cautious & keep it limited, you don’t want to have too many.