We can take A LOT of pain, particularly if any kind of love is involved. Love can be an enemy at times. When you fall in love with a person you know you can not be with, or when love puts you in a situation you were not ready to handle, or, as it seems to be for you, when love puts you in a painfull situation and then leaves you behind. I am only 22 and I am a straight boy, so I have no personal experience with husbands, but I do have a step father with whom I have had more than my fair share of shit with, and I have of course seen how he works within the family, with my mother and so on. One thing that really stands out in terms of difficulties is that grown up men hate change. They hate to change their ways, they hate when their chair gets moved about, you name it (and probably know way more about it). If you have the feeling that you are wasting your life on this man, then most likely that is the truth. Your intuition (or brain) tells you that you might be dealing with a lost cause, but then your heart (another part of the brain) fucks you up with a part of human thought that is responsible for quite a lot of stuff going bad when they did not have to: we refuse to accept that the energy, time or money or anything that we have put into a project or relationship or company is lost forever. Therefore we keep on going to the bitter end, in hopes of seeing the pieces of our life that are lost. It least all of this might be part of why you can't leave. Now, if you really do not love him, I suggest you see a councelor (it did not really help with my step father, 'cause "I'm a maaaaan! I'm not going to take advice from some academic fucker", but it helped my mom :-)), and see if you can manage to talk some stuff out with a professional. Eventually you might find that it is time to leave your man, at which point I'd say do it, and never look back. No matter how old you are, life is FAR to long to spend in pain if you can avoid it! - I hope I was of help; take care and good lock :-), Ghini
