thoughts then and now, suicide?

To start off, I'm proud of you for going to a therapist! Many don't have the courage to do so. Next, does your parents know you broke down today? This is stuff they need/should know. Third, your therapist needs to know things, (how you feel, certain aspects of your life, general info) Don't make yourself feel you need to tell him/her EVERYTHING that's been going on. A therapist is a "tour guide", not a "tell me everything" person. If you feel you don't need to tell them certain things, then don't. Keep going to your therapist and let them know you all out broke down. Never do this, as this is how I learned the hard way: Never get your teachers/counselors involved! I had to learn the hard way with a different issue, and they don't help. Ok, some do, but don't feel as if you need to tell them too. I'm sorry if anybody out there is reading this and doesn't agree with anything I said, but that's just my opinion, and that's what I would do if I were you.

I've had those thoughts quite few times, and believe me, it's hard to make them go away but if you are willing and strong, you will be able to go through all of this. I think talking it out with your therapist might help you to feel better about it, and besides it will make the connection between the two of you, stronger. You need to stay strong no matter what, and to make sure those thoughts only stay as that: Thoughts. You don't need to feel afraid of them anyways because most people have them at least once in their lives, and maybe they aren't even depressed but have a breaking-down moment, a moment of weakness in which we think about things we'd never really do. Just stay strong, I'm sure you'll be able to do it. And most of all with the help of your therapist.

The less flippant your mind, the more you will experience the same connections and emotions you felt when you remember something. Try and remember it as how-you-were and appreciate the difference to how-you-are-now rather than allowing it in too much to the present.

Alyssa i thank you for your opinion. I try, i really do but i dont know what to tell her and what to keep. I have never been a person who tells people my problems. Thanks anyway