I do a language exchange with this young Spanish guy who is 37. I´ve been married for 20 years and have two teenage children. My marriage is difficult. I am 53.I was attracted to his personality from the beginning and he made it clear that he was only here to learn languages and that there are other sites for relationships. He was very clear about not wanting anything.I continued with the exchange and kept my growing feeling for him to myself. He was on the language exchange site continually searching for another partner and found an American girl his own age. We have both been exchanging with him for over a year now. We became much warmer and more friendly with time but he would always mention her and I could tell he was very excited about knowing her. This hasn´t changed, it´s become more so. When our exchange turned one year he sent me a very expensive gift of atisan meat products, pastries and chocolates from his region. My husband is the only other person in my life who has ever given me such a lavish gift. He is a policeman, not a rich man. He has sent me songs, because we all three enjoy music, from the beginning but since January he started sending me love songs. Mostly they are sent to her and to me but sometimes they are only for me. He sends me songs almost daily. After he sent the gift he told me he would like to come to my region for a holiday this month but this has not materialized. He took a two month holiday from the exchanges recently to recharge his batteries and seemed to distance himself from me. Now he has reduced the time he spends with me, we no longer chat happily together as we did before in the warm and friendly way we had. When he mentions his other partner he sounds like he is in love with her. They are the same age and he has a fixation with the American culture. He told me they speak for up to 3 hours at a time about all subjects. Last night he told me he is happy with both his partners. I feel sad and confused about his behavior. I feel like he pulls me to him then pushes me away all the time. He has never mentions my husband, although I do. Its almost like he doesn´t want to acknowledge that I have one. He refuses to let me see him on Skype, has only sent two unclear clear photos of himself and wont give me his address so I can send him a gift in exchange even after 27 months of speaking for three to five hours on Skype every week! He never reveals anything about his private life, his past relationships, friends etc. He is a very discreet person, honest and has high principles. He is single and lives with his parents. I´ve considered that he might be gay, but somehow I don´t think so. My instincts tell me that he grew to want me and then fought this feeling. I´m so confused. Can anyone offer advice on what´s going on, if he is playing mind games with me and if I should leave this relationship. There have been many times that he´s wanted to speak to me five days in the week for one and a half hours each time. He wanted to be with me on his birthday, Christmas day and on my birthday. He sounds like he is in love with her, he went crazy for 2 weeks at one point that she disappeared and it became obvious to me then. What´s going on here? Sorry this explanation has been so long.
