Is a healthy response to a breakup

Trying to rationalize their behavior can help you accept it, but at the same time, remember that there is no excuse to take your problems out on somebody else, and no reason why it was legitimate for them to be abusive you. Maybe it's time you start to repeat to yourself, when you go back and analyze how things went, that it doesn't matter anymore. Things went how they did, but it doesn't matter anymore, they are gone.

im in the same situation but with my boyfriend i have found the easiest way is to sit down and write on a piece of paper what you think you deserve and what you are going to do to get there and then ask youre self should she/he be stopping you 1 from being happy and 2 from living youre life

I'm not quite sure what the question is here but it sounds she got into your head too much and you should have broken up a lot earlier. It's no surprise you're angry, if your hands felt like your head you'd be washing them constantly to try and get it off but the only way you could clear your head is to either decide to drop it, or find someone/something that was better enough to put her uselessness into perspective.

She mentally abused you. If you make excuses for what she did you really won't be able to move on. Are you angry with her, or are you really angry with yourself? It's like me saying " My boyfriend hit me, but it was because I made him mad". Nothing YOU did justifies how she treated you. You don't have to be a victim, but don't make excuses. If you don't examine what really happened your keeping yourself open for someone else to abuse you. If this was very recent..it's gonna take time..your SUPPOSE to be angry..but it will fade. Don't run from your feelings. Embrace it, talk about it, and then move on. It may take days, months, years, but you will heal...Time heals all wounds..how do you want your scars to look?