I feel like I could use some perspective on something that happened a while ago. I’d really appreciate it if you read this and let me know what you think of what happened (is anyone to blame, did someone make a mistake, was this just inevitable, etc). I know this is going to turn out to be really long, but I don’t want to leave out any details that might be important. I’m going to do my best to write the story without giving away which “character” I am, or if the “characters” are male or female. I’m going to call the main characters G and S.
This whole thing started when G and S had a class together. At first they seemed like very different people. S was energetic and outgoing, while G was reserved and shy. S took an interest in G, though. S reached out, and they started talking. At first they only talked in class, but then it was summer and they were talking over facebook. Eventually, instead of just chatting they would go to a movie or a meal, which eventually turned into just hanging out. By the time school started again in the fall they were texting every day and hanging out multiple times a week.
It should probably be mentioned that G had never been in a relationship before. G hadn’t even gone on a single date. And that S had not only been in relationships before, but currently had an S/O. They lived fairly far away though, not far enough to make it impossible to see each other, but enough to make it inconvenient and rare. Of course, S was very upfront about G, and the S/O was ok with it. G and the S/O even met once, and while it was a bit awkward at first, they got along pretty well overall. So while G and S never did anything at all physical, they did develop a very close friendship. They essentially became each other’s exclusive emotional outlets, as G didn’t have any other relationships this close, and S didn’t feel very comfortable talking about personal things over the phone.
It should also be mentioned that S was dealing with clinically diagnosed depression and anxiety at the time. G had personally dealt with depression in the past, but considered themself to be recovered at that time. S was seeing a therapist and taking medication at the time, but none of it seemed to do very much, however being with G did seem to help things, even if just for a little while.
Of course, things weren’t this easy forever. Maybe it was how often they were seeing each other, but things between S and G became strained. Whenever S would feel bad about themself, G would try to make S feel better, but despite complimenting and arguing for S, it didn’t seem to help much. This would make G feel useless, and S would feel worse for making G feel bad too. This kind of thing happened fairly often, and was one of many things that made their relationship feel worse.
Things had been like this for a couple months, and showing more signs of getting worse than getting better. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when S’s therapist suggested that they believed that S and G had a co-dependent relationship. Not long after this was suggested, G ended the relationship. G told S that they thought they shouldn’t be friends anymore, that they simply thought that they couldn’t help S, and that trying to do so was only making G feel worse. S felt differently. S wanted to remain friends; S believed that they could work through their problems if they tried. S tried texting G several times, apologizing and asking to meet in person, or at least talk about what happened, but G never replied. They didn’t see each other at all the following summer, and even when school started they barely ran into each other. When they did, first they would avoid each other, then just ignore each other, then towards the end of the year exchange short greetings and act like nothing happened, like they were never friends.
So thanks for actually going through all that. I’d really appreciate any opinions; hopefully I’ll get to talk to someone about what happened. Feel free to ask to talk in private messages; I think that could be helpful.
