Am I cracked?

I’ve had a pretty messed up past, but from my 13 year old age I’ve experienced the typical experiences in life,

parents divorcing, having a step-parent, losing a family member, “breaking up” with a really close friend not long after mourning, sexting online, losing my innocence (not virginity, but just innocence.)..But don’t get me wrong, I have had happy experiences, there is some light in this stupid life! Shocker

But anyways I’m just worried, since all of those things have made cracks on my glass mind, and caused all sorts of issues (like mental illnesses) I’m just wondering if I’m like a “troubled” girl? it’s like I’m just cracked, cracks are all over my “glass”..
I mean all my classmates have no cracks on their glass, maybe just a few scratches here and there, maybe really small cracks, so they barely have any problems, but for me, I feel like I’m damaged or something. Like a rotten egg amongst perfect eggs. I mean SURE, I can still get hyped up, I can still be happy and I can still definetly be careless about life but sometimes I break down, but it’s mostly hormones or painful memories, I’m pretty sure I don’t have depression, well, unless you can have it for only 3-4 months after your best friend leaves you but I’m over that?
Like even 2-3 months after losing a family member I was laughing and being super hyper with my friends (who are sadly my ex-friends now though) some were even concerned that I was on drugs lol. But they all left me because they felt the need to hurt me when I was mourning and having hard times again x) Great friends right? I deserve that clearly.

Soo, I’m just wondering, do you think I can actually handle the shit life can give better than all those happy idiots in my school? I just really don’t want to be labaled as the “troubled girl” on my future records or something. D: But obviously I want those things to stop happening, I’m scared that I’m cursed or something.. :/ It’s a good thing this life hasn’t messed up my grades and future plans, but mainly my relationships which sucks

I also really don’t get it why people see my problems as nothing, I mean, maybe they’re nothing to you, but they are the whole death for me, I’m the most sensitive person you could ever meet in your life.

Category: Society & Culture asked November 20, 2014

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Uni

179

2 Answers

Well, speaking from experience, often happy people aren't that happy. We often put on masks to disguise or pain and to make everyone think "I'm fine". You have been through some tough times, and so it is no surprise you feel the way you do. Not to mention you have some asshole friends. I know that pain, many of my friends abandoned me after I had a breakdown. You would have never thought by looking at met that I was that kind of girl, a "troubled girl". All of us are cracked, just in different ways. You are strong, I think you are handling your troubles very well. You are expressing your needs, not hiding them like so many people do. That's very healthy sign, so keep at it, things won't be this way forever.

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Whisper Angel

I've had some bad experiences too, which are still going on and I feel like they're getting worse, but the thing that's keeping me going is the tiny fact at the back of my head: that the more cracks you have, the more experienced your are - and I know it sounds cheesy - but it literally does make you stronger. You will become a more understanding person because of the bad things going on in your life, try your best to think of it as building yourself. Like characters - they're interesting because what they do and say has been built from their past, they have so many layers - layers which you're in the process of making! You are cracked, and there's nothing wrong with worrying about it. This isn't me saying "look on the bright side" this is me saying that you should use the strength of the cracks against them!

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EmbarrassedandAshamed