fark said 10 years, 10 months ago:

Hey Max,

I don’t know what it is, but something.. just SOMETHING tell’s me you’re a real hoot at parties.

Hey, did you ever come to think that maybe your life seems so shitty because your attitude is so shitty? Maybe if you didn’t throw a pity party every two seconds for yourself, you could spend some of that party planning time in procuring some positive things about yourself.

People aren’t just going to HAND you happiness, that’s no body else’s responsibility but your own, and happiness is entranced from your perception.

You get bullied, no one recognizes the good you do, boo-fukin-hoo. There are people out there that can’t even fukin walk, or see, or hear, and probably only have a few years left to live. Yet they don’t use the downfalls in their life to make up excuses for all the things they CANT do and what THEY deserve. They make the best out of it because they’ve come to ACCEPT the fact that it’s their cross to bear and they make the best of it.

Don’t you understand that you and I live in the same fucked up world? Why do I not feel the same as you? You don’t think I’ve ever been fucked over? You wanna know the difference though between you and me? I come to realize I deserve happiness and I GO for it despite what I’ve gone through. I do things to make MYSELF feel good, not to put it on the forefront for everyone else to see it. If the whole world were to die tomorrow, and you were left on this earth, who then will you have to blame for your sadness?

iflifewereeasywewouldntbealive said 10 years, 10 months ago:

I don’t mean to be annoying, Max, because I see where you’re coming from-I’ve been there, too-but hating people is only going to make things worse. Seriously. I should know.

Chwati:) said 10 years, 10 months ago:

I have to say, if you think you deserve something, you just have to take it. Nobody will come and want to give if you don’t want to take.

If you believe in God, He created good and bad. If you believe in science, you have negatives and positives. Negatives are unstable without the positives and positives are unstable without the negatives. So accept the world with its corruption and trashy attitude. You might feel like the bad defeats the good, but trust me, they only take turns. I mean, sometimes there is more good than bad and sometimes vice versa.

Expecting people to give you recognition is bound to keep you unhappy. Now ask yourself. Are you perfect? Why do you expect the world to be perfect?

Doing something good should be for your own satisfaction, not for recognition. Keep doing the good things and giving to others but at the same time you have to TAKE things too! Reward yourself for a good job done or a goal achieved. You don’t have to succumb to every damn person. Saying “no” has virtue in it’s own way. You don’t have to smile or “fake smile” but I still ask you to smile, for all the good things, for all the bad things, smile to calm yourself down and relax yourself. You will feel great.

Take care and good luck <3

fark said 10 years, 10 months ago:

I also noticed that aside from ALL the other POSITIVE messages posted on this thread you only gave MINE attention.

You need help bro. You have negativity in your life because you want it.

Deleted User said 10 years, 10 months ago:

First off, I apologise for any assumptions I may make and also for the length of this response.

You can’t possibly hate everyone. You have not met every single human being on this planet. You want to hate everyone, you are actively choosing to do so and thus creating a world full of hatred for yourself – you know that is both unhealthy and unreasonable. You have encountered a mere fraction of the population and are painting us all with the same brush – you can’t possibly say that out of the (well over) seven billion people in this world all of us are worthy of being hated simply for existing. That’s absurd. Yes, there is corruption. Yes, there are people who get by in life simply because they are deemed physically attractive. You’re right about both of those things, but there is so much more to the world than that.

You are a victim of bullying because you allow yourself to be. You are not alone in having been a victim of bullying but you have a choice – continue to be a victim or choose that you are a survivor, a conqueror as it were. I was bullied myself in primary school (ages 7-11), high school (ages 11-17) and I even encountered it during my time at University (ages 18-21) and I have even encountered it online in places such as this where people claim to be compassionate and yet failed to show it time and time again. It’s hellishly disappointing, but I refuse to let those people infiltrate my future. You are allowing the way you have been treated to affect your future, that is actively your decision which – if you wish to change your life, and I believe you do otherwise you would not be here, that has to change. You need to deal with how you were treated previously, and put it firmly in your past. You are 26 years old, correct? You are living for yourself, and yourself alone. Those people from your past, regardless of how they treated you will not make it to your future unless you allow them, and you are allowing that. Don’t continue as you are merely to spite them, or you are letting them control you – take that control for yourself, dammit.

Nobody cares about you because you are not allowing them to care, or you are unable to comprehend why or how someone could possibly care for you. I can only imagine this is due to how you were raised and have been treated as a child and as a human being. I am sorry for that, I truly am, but you no longer have to live your life with the manipulation and corruption you encountered growing up. You can free yourself from those who have led you to think the way that you do. I don’t know if you still live in the area you grew up, but if you do? I would genuinely advise you to get up and move to another town where nobody knows you. You say that you don’t disclose personal information for fear that those from your past will find you. Ask yourself – are they genuinely going to come after me, or is that the warped view they want me to have to keep me trapped inside of my own mind?

I can say that I care, others here can say that they care, but there is little to no point because you won’t believe it – it is almost as though you can’t comprehend the idea of being cared for and that breaks my heart. You are worthy of that, you deserve that, but until you allow someone to break down the walls you have built around you? You are going to continue being alone. You don’t have to be alone, and I don’t think you truly want to be – again as I said – otherwise you wouldn’t be here.

I don’t expect you to smile to please me, I don’t expect you to smile at all until you find something worth smiling for. I think a lot of your problem stems from you viewing each and every individual as a potential threat or – as you put it – an enemy. People will hurt you and betray you, but people will also do many other things if you allow them to. You have the victim mentality and unless you shake that off and start to trust that not everybody is out to hurt you? Nothing will change. Take myself for example – what reason would I have to hurt you and betray you? None. what reason do I have to help you? None, but I try anyway. I benefit from neither of those things. I could sit here until the cows come home to no avail and it is no skin off my nose.

I am leading my life, and I highly suggest you start doing the same. You have been singing from the same hymn sheet, playing the same sorry violin and stuck in the same chapter of the longest story you’ll ever encounter – your life. You can choose to wallow over the same old pages, the same old chapter, to your hearts content but if you do that then you will continue as you are. If you are truly interested in altering your life you need to accept your story as it was and turn the page to begin a new chapter that you can explore and create as you please.

You mention compassion. That by its very definition is a feeling of sympathy for another being who is suffering or has been striken by misfortune in their life with the desire to help alleviate said persons suffering. While Fark’s response may not have had the most tact – do you genuinely believe they would have even bothered taking their time to say a single word if they had no desire to help you? Fark could have ignored your post but instead they choose to say something in the hope it would have some sort of impact on you – and I believe that it did given you responded to it first and foremost. Maybe you know that some of what Fark said is true and you refuse to accept that but unless you’re willing to listen and accept the opinions of others who are making effort you aren’t going to change at all.

You say people are inconsiderate so you help less and less. You also seem to give the impression that you would only do something if it benefits you so you recieve thanks. Perhaps you ought to practise selflessness and do things because you know that it is the right thing to do regardless of what you may or may not get in return. If all people have ever done is take from you, be a little selfish and take for a while but the world owes you nothing.

If you expect people to be considerate then you have to practise that yourself. To say to someone who is trying to offer you advice and support that what many people believe in is a ‘fairy tale figure’ is inconsiderate. While you are entitled to that opinion, did you consider how that may make someone who believes in God may feel? I imagine not.

You have a choice: you continue as you are or you actively go about making changes to your life. It is not going to be instant. You’re not going to wake up tomorrow with all of these emotions, memories and mindsets completely altered but it is possible and you can make those changes if you are determined to create a better life for yourself – the life that you both want and deserve to have.

Darien S said 10 years, 10 months ago:

Well said @Mysterium!

Deleted User said 10 years, 10 months ago:

Mysterium, that was a very detailed reply. Thank you. I will have to explain to you my reasoning in point form.

1: All I can say is that the way you framed my hatred towards humanity makes it difficult for me to justify it. My feelings are based on what I see every day and what I’ve experienced. Because of seeing what I see daily and what I experienced, I automatically anticipate people will show me evil. I can’t give a better answer than that.

2: The biggest obstacle to me overcoming is knowing that my bullies have gone unpunished for what they did. That is unacceptable to me. I’m also waiting for the day where I can get my revenge any way I legally can. So, if I’m ever in a situation where any of them need help and I’m the only who can give it, my revenge would be denying it to them and gloating at their helplessness.

I know it goes against what you said, but this will tie in to what I say in the end.

3: I don’t understand how I don’t let anyone care about me. You’ll have to explain that to me because I think I give people that opportunity.

The way my parents raised me has nothing to do with how I view the world. I attribute that solely on the bullying and the betrayals that I would experience later in life. I know that those from my past are not looking for anything about me, but seeing how people’s lives get turned upset down by what they post on the internet, I’m taking precautions to protect myself.

4: I am open to tearing down some of my walls on here. But I know I deserve to be cared for.

5: I didn’t want to bring up fark again, but since you brought it up… When you antagonize me, that’s when I refuse to give you the time of day and reject everything you have to say, no matter how well-meaning it may be. Not attacking me is the only way you’ll get me to open my eyes.

6: You got me on the selflessness part.

Rexual: OK, it wasn’t nice of me to put down Chwati’s advice. I apologize to you, Chwati, for doing that.

I have pride because it’s all I have. But I did apologize to you when I replied you don’t me. I don’t say things with the intention of shooting anyone down. But since people are saying I have, I don’t know how I did. In my mind, I was just stating something that doesn’t make sense to me.

I think Mysterium is getting at is telling me to let go. That I can’t do because all these issues are not physical objects. Letting go of something that’s not physical doesn’t compute with me. If I don’t like a book, I’ll throw it away. If I don’t like the shirt I’m wearing, I’ll take it off and throw it away. But I cannot hold pain and emotions in my hand. And if I can’t hold it in my hand, how can I “let go” of it?

I would also like to add I have a state of war mentality, if that explains anything. So that means lots of Panzers, Dreadnoughts, Stuka dive bombers, infantry divisions, etc. on high alert for threats.

But I appreciate the patience and replies nevertheless. I don’t know if my explaining my reasoning will be taken as artillery fire from behind the fort or not. I hope not.