Marapara said 9 years, 8 months ago:
Today is a beautiful day. It’s sunny, warm, dry, and barely any wind at all. The picture-perfect autumn day. And what am I doing? I am in my bed, right by the window, with a bag of mini Chips Ahoy cookies. I am sitting here consumed by the crippling fear that by doing this I am wasting my entire life, and I will not have anything to look back on when I am older. Sure, I’ll be able to look back on the places I’ve traveled and the people I love, but I feel like right now I am not doing anything productive. I am simply wasting my time and wasting my life. Mom said to get out and do something. First of all, there’s no one to go with. And here’s what’s so frustrating: yes, I’d feel less like I was wasting my life/time if I went somewhere WITH someone, but I don’t necessarily want to do something with another person, but at the same time, oh God, I do. My problem is I get tired of some people too easily, but then if I go alone I remember that I won’t have any close friends to look back on these college days with. I’m scared. I’m scared that my life is being wasted as the sun comes through the window.
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