blissfulmelancholy said 10 years ago:

I just feel shitty and need to vent about things. I recently started to realize I have an alcohol problem and don’t know what to do about it. The only thing that’s stopped me from drinking the past couple of days is knowing that my friends would be disappointed if I did. Because the last time I drank I got so shitty I threw up in my sleep without waking up, and could’ve definitely died. This isn’t the first time that’s happened, either. Also, apparently when blackout drunk, I ramble about how I would totally do pills again if given the chance. I haven’t done any in years, but it’s always been a thought in the back of my mind that maybe it would be helpful, but now I realize it’s a problem. Also, having a guy I’ve liked for awhile tell me that maybe going to AA would be a good idea, for me to figure out my problems, kind of sucks. Granted it’s great that he cares, but I just wish he hadn’t seen me like that. I don’t really think I’m an alcoholic, it’s just when I’m stressed or sad or upset in anyway, I immediately crave a distraction, and that’s the easiest thing for me to use. I just need to figure out how to deal with my problems, instead of just avoiding them. I just wish I knew how.