OpenTalk said 9 years, 8 months ago:
When relationships come to a close there are usually aftershocks to follow. It’s not uncommon for people to go through the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) before they really come to terms with how things ended.
The only solace I can offer you, since I don’t really know your situation, is that this happened for a reason. It isn’t solely your fault, nor is it solely hers. I know that right now things likely won’t make sense, but that’s a temporary feeling.
There will be other people for you to love; the possibility of romance won’t end for you here and now. However, you need to understand that no strong relationship can last if one person has personal issues that they haven’t dealt with. It weighs down on the relationships, and adds unfair pressure to your partner.
You need to speak to someone, preferably a professional, about why you self harm. Not just for your own physical and mental health, but also because it is a good step towards your own personal happiness. It may even bring you closer to finding someone amazing and growing a strong relationship with them.
I’ll leave you with an important quote:
“Don’t put your happiness in other people’s hands. They’ll drop it. They’ll drop it every time.”
- C. Barzak
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