n1o3e said 10 years, 4 months ago:

Lately I have been feeling even more down than usual. I’m not feeling the holiday spirit and I feel alone. Things have been difficult lately . I really have no one I can talk to. I have been thing about suicide even though I keep trying not to. I know it’s not the answer to my problems. But the thoughts and scenarios still play through my head. I feel like I’m hanging onto “normal” life by a thread. Like I’m treading water and if I don’t do something to fix things soon, I’ll drown (and that’s looking more and more appealing, which worries me). I don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I don’t want to do that, not really… I just don’t want to hurt anymore …