Alexis said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Beautiful story, youre so strong(:

Deleted User said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Hey kirstin and alexis, your both strong people to be so open about your abuse, i was physically and mentally abused as a kid, and i was in denial about it for a long time or never acknowledged it, i just started my healing last month, if you guys ever need to share with me feel free, i know the pain and rage you feel, i deal with it everyday, but the only way i dont let it shape me is by understanding it or accepting it. Ive only opened up to my sister and one other person here about it, but i feel more people i share/trust with it, the more comfortable or accepting i can be to myself. be strong:)

Kirstin Lopez said 10 years, 10 months ago:

@Korsakov thank you for the kind words and the same goes for you, feel free to message me anytime. Especially since accepting and healing is so new to you and you’re right speaking about it to more and more people helps. I told my family and then the cops and cps and then went to a few different group counsellings. speaking helps a lot. having people’s comfort and having trusting adults to speak to. I think telling an adult could really help you. You’re a very strong person as well. Be very proud of your bravery. Best of luck, dear.

@Darien S Thank you I really appreciate that : ). I’m glad too. it’s been an incredible challenge but also an amazing adventure. definitely helps you to realize a great deal. sometimes the only way to really open up is to be broken a few times, but it only makes you stronger in the end : D

Kirstin Lopez said 10 years, 10 months ago:

@Corexe that could not be any more true. And thank you – for the advice and for sharing. If you’re ever having a tough day and need to talk feel free to message me. Any of you, really. You’re all clearly such strong individuals, but everyone has their days and just know I’m here for those : ) Best of luck to all of you!

Deleted User said 10 years, 10 months ago:

I was verbally abused and sometimes physically abused in my past and sometimes, occasionally my parents do it still. The abuse was at its peak about two-three years ago, and they abused me because I had a bad grade as in a B+. They expected me to be perfect, and sometimes I am a little lazy. But you see, asian parents will not tolerate laziness and so the child gets scolded, or sometimes worse. I tried to argue back for my sake, but I just realized that it makes it worse for me and that keeping quiet was the short way out. Sometimes, I barely understood why they were yelling at me but the same things were told of how I was pretty much a piece of trash that needs to be thrown away, that I was worthless and how much time they wasted on me. It stayed rooted in my mind and grew to a terrible mental condition in which I think is MPD (idk… I’m trying to self-diagnose from sites that look official) , because I have voices in my head and sometimes they become what I actually think and say. My parents also believe that gays/bi’s are just people that are sick in their minds. I can’t really change how I feel to others, can I? Telling my parents will make them like me even less, because they expect a perfectly healthy daughter, not some mental sick person.

One thing I will have to say is that I will never forgive my parents and I hate them from then. I pretend that I love them like a normal daughter, but that’s only so I won’t get punished for being unhappy and not telling them all this. Heck, I can’t really get any paid/medical help either, and both my parents are doctors. How ironic. :/

But all these years, I just sort of developed a wall to protect myself from all this hurt, and I stop venting to my school counselor and my friends because I think people have already heard enough and that I should get over it. But I’m not really sure how to actually heal. I just put on a mask in the day, but usually I cry myself to sleep.

Deleted User said 10 years, 10 months ago:

I wish I could buy stuff, do stuff that I want to do, but my options are incredibly restricted. I haven’t been out shopping since… I don’t even remember the last time I went, because my parents believe that shopping takes too long and wastes too much time and that I should be doing something more productive than that. Besides, my dad s practically the shopper of the family. I wish I could do something nice for myself, wish I could do something that I actually want to do, like draw. Sometimes I wish I could just spend the entire day outside drawing, but my parents don’t appreciate me doing that. Again, they say it’s a waste of time. But, how, how do I not let myself live alone in fear? I don’t have siblings to go to and my friends are all traveling… I can’t exactly get rid of my family. They will if possible, follow me everywhere. Literally. I can’t go into my room without a good reason of just wanting to stay there. My life is a cage right now, but I know when college comes it will get better, but I just need something to help me wait those 3 more years. I also have to say my family is a typical asian family. Most other kids I meet have this problem too, but they’re not in such a bad shape as I am.

Deleted User said 10 years, 10 months ago:

Thanks, @korsakov. Ironically, my mom also has a terrible health condition and she’s really sick and has something to do with her metabolism, but she still works every day. Thanks also to Kirstin too for telling me not to self-diagnose, but I also talked to another user, Opera Ghost, and he helped me figure out that I was possibly having multiple identities… but still, not everyone has voices in their minds, right??