maddie said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Well I’m asexual so I figured I’d start a thread :P

Asexuality isn’t really as weird or difficult to understand as people make it out to be; it’s just not being sexually attracted to anyone.

Kenzie said 10 years, 11 months ago:

I agree, I myself, am lesbian, but I can understand why some people find your sexuality hard to understand you know, and also, what a lot of people don’t realize, is that you’re still capable of falling in love.

Jess said 10 years, 11 months ago:

I find it so hard to understand how other people don’t understand that there is a massive spectrum when it comes to sexuality. People think we have to fit into set boxes, like Gay, Straight, or Bisexual (there are a million different ones than those anyway), but there is a huge spectrum that doesn’t just fit those, and that spectrum of attraction also differs in intensity. People seem to get you can have a really high sex-drive or a regular kind of sex-drive, but no one seems to get that you can have none or close to it. It just .. Lol. I just don’t understand how people don’t understand.

Kenzie said 10 years, 11 months ago:

I guess sometimes people don’t know how to get out of their own head to try to understand another.

maddie said 10 years, 11 months ago:

and another thing that people don’t really realize is that asexual people can still experience romantic attraction? like you can be heteroromantic or homoromantic or biromantic or panromantic or aromantic

eastallegheny said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Asexual and homoromantic here. I posted in the dating forum about my stupid problems lol. There’s more of us than people think.

Deleted User said 10 years, 11 months ago:

I’ll volunteer for the beating. Yays!!

I do not comprehend asexuality. Explain it to me and hammer me with it until I get it. I’m serious. It’s beyond my comprehension as to how one could be in a relationship without sex stuffs going on.

eastallegheny said 10 years, 11 months ago:

This is a quote that I saw on tumblr that I really liked, because it says what I want to say so succinctly.

For asexuals, sex is like… a donut. When we see a donut, we do not have the urge to eat the donut. This does not necessarily mean we hate the donut, or think the donut is disgusting— many of us even like donuts. But we never have any urge to walk over there and eat it. Demisexuals will have the urge to eat the donut only if it their absolute favorite kind of donut in the whole world, and greysexuals sometimes will have the urge to get the donut, and sometimes not. Celibates are on diets.

Natuhlee said 10 years, 11 months ago:

I think I might be asexual, but I’m not sure. I think I might be borderline, is that a thing? Totally homoromantic though.

eastallegheny said 10 years, 11 months ago:

@Natuhlee You’re welcome to PM me if you want to talk more about my experiences with asexuality and coming out etc.

Deleted User said 10 years, 11 months ago:

eastallegheny: I don’t get that analogy. Partly because I see sex as water; it’s necessary. I will admit though, that my view is a bit different due to being an InCel. So… I still don’t get it.

eastallegheny said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Okay, try this one. Do you like pizza?

Do you prefer… sausage or pepperoni? Or maybe you like both?

In this analogy, pizza is sex. Some people like sausage on their pizza. Some people like pepperoni. Some people like both. So there you have gay, straight, bisexual.

Some people like Super Supreme pizzas, the works with everything on top. Those are the pansexuals.

There are a multitude of different preferences in sexuality, just like there are a multitude of different preferences in pizza. They come in all different combinations and though you may not like someone’s preferred flavor of pizza, that’s okay, cos no one’s asking you to eat it : )

And then there are people who just plain don’t like pizza. You might not get that, because you love pizza so much, but that’s just how it is. Doesn’t matter what’s on it, they’re not into it. And that’s okay too : )

Deleted User said 10 years, 11 months ago:

But… You still want to eat the toppings, ie. go on dates, give/receive presents, … Uh… Whatever else people do in relationships besides sex…?

Let me ask you this: Have you ever been in a relationship? Have you ever had “pizza”? Or more specifically, is there a reason you are asexual?

eastallegheny said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Putting pizza aside, I do still want a relationship. I can still /love/, it just isn’t a sexual thing. I like kissing, but I don’t see that as sexual. It’s about closeness, for me. I’m just as happy curling up with someone and falling asleep.

For future reference, asking someone if there is a “reason” they are asexual is kind of a loaded question and will offend a lot of people. It implies that there is something horrible in their past that has turned them off sex, and a) in most cases that just isn’t true, and b) even if it were, those people aren’t likely to just blurt it out in a public forum.

I myself have no trauma or anything specific that “made” me asexual. I just am. I have no desire to have sex with people. Kissing, sure, for the reasons I explained at the beginning of the post, but anything further? Not for me.

If you are attracted to something/someone, that’s not something you can control. You either are or you aren’t. I’m sure you have a preference? Me, I’m just… not attracted to anyone in a sexual way, that’s all.

maddie said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Also grey-asxeuality (occasionally experiencing sexual attracton) and demisexuality (only experiencing sexual attraction when there’s already an emotional bond) are part of the spectrum of sexuality though I don’t know as much about them as I really should

(I’m also homoromantic ace there seem to be a lot of us :P )