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Lynn said 9 years, 3 months ago:

So, the plan was to go teach English in South Korea August 2015, but I joined a local MMA class to help get in shape before I leave. The instructor is 11 years older than me (I’m 26 this year) and I find him very attractive. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and he’s currently single and he is incredibly nice and a very good man. I want to ask him out, but I don’t want to make things awkward. I am also planning on leaving so I don’t really want to get involved with anyone.

A position opened up in my office with better pay and less state-travel. I’m currently out of town at least every other week, which takes a toll on my personal life. (ie: I don’t have one) I could stay and be able to take care of the things I need to, plus save up. So the question is, should I go to Korea in the Fall and let it go? Or should I apply for the new job and consider staying for at least another year in an effort to get to know him better?

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countmouse said 9 years, 2 months ago:

Hi Lynn,

I hope it’s not too late to respond to this, I have just seen it.

In a general sense, I think it is most positive to aim to be in a place in yourself, and with a relationship in your life, which will have the ability to support you to be an individual and still pursue your own dreams and goals. To aim to be a whole person in yourself, and not feeling the need to be completed by someone else.

That being said, if you feel that you and this guy hit it off, you could stay another year to know each other more, but only if you feel that you won’t regret postponing Korea for that time in order to take this chance, and also, if you are pretty certain that you will still be in a position the following year to go there, relationship or not. Unless you think it is possible that your desire/goal to go to Korea could disappear and be replaced by something else. It depends how important you feel it is in comparison to other things in life, and the reasoning as to why you want to invest in whatever goals you currently desire to.

There is no real right or wrong answer in this, I think. It really depends on what it is exactly you value from each experience, and which one provides you with the kind of experiences and learning that you feel are most valuable to you.

I suggest just trying to make sure for yourself that in whatever you choose to do, that you are choosing the things you genuinely believe best impact your self-growth in the ways you truly want to grow.

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