Hearmenow said 9 years, 7 months ago:

Hiya Cat, sorry to hear you’ve been having such a difficult time.

But while your ex hurt you, you need to try and remember that they are two completely different people. It’s perfectly understandable to be absolutely terrified of getting into a relationship, to be so vulnerable and open up to another person. It always is, despite the circumstances.

It’s always a bit of a risk, but you gotta take it, in order to gain so much more.

That being said however, there’s no reason to rush things, nor feel like you have some kind of pressure on you that you need to reciprocate the feelings, and develop them the same rate as he does. Take it slow, a speed your comfortable with. Really get to know him, see what kind of person he’s like, and that way you get a feel of what he’s like before things go any further.

And if you find yourself not feeling anything beyond that, that’s fine to, it’s always great having new friends.

There’s no one who can make choices for you, in the end, it’s up to you to decide the option that is best for you, and what could potentially be the best shot of making you happy. Anyway it goes, it’ll be okay. There is no one that can tell you wether you’re right or wrong, no person is alike and no mind is either, and we feel and experience things differently.

Talk to him, communication is the most important thing. Be open, try a little bit of honesty. Figure out where you are. Ask him where he sees himself, are you included in his future? If he’s worth it, he’ll wait for you, agree to take it slow.

You cannot rush certain things, nor control them, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. And it’s not because of you, it’s not you who is at fault, no one is, the circumstances just weren’t right.

But until you try, you will never know where it could go. But you’re right, in being cautious. You can’t just throw your heart at every guy who comes along, love is something that’s earned. As is trust.

Why is it you’re afraid? Is it because you feel like you’re incapable of that kind of trust? Or because you can’t trust yourself?