Deleted User said 9 years, 8 months ago:

First off i’d like to ask if anyone can give helpful advice for getting over a guy after a break up . This is killing me i can’t stop analyzing it.

Details /quick facts

I’m 14 he’s 17

We’ve been friends for a year

I left my 9 month long problematic relationship to pursue one with him

He left his relationship for me

We got together on July 24th and broke up yesterday , August 5th . A two week relationship , fucking pathetic . Basically we broke up because he felt “it wasn’t going to work out” and “All love isn’t meant to last forever” . On august 3rd , i opened up to him about my inner doubts due to being hurt in the past — my trust issues . And he blew up at me and said i hurt him by comparing him to my exes . Ever since we haven’t been the same because i “hurt” him when i was just being honest . I asked him why can’t we just move past this and work things out and he said every time a relationship has an issue there’s bound to be more . I’m like well obviously and you work past them . I can’t believe him .

I was venting to him telling him he hurt me by leaving me so quickly and he laughed saying i sounded dumb and he was the one hurt not me . He said i’m not gonna argue with you , don’t like it? Hate me dislike me? Then block me. I should’ve known better because 3 days into the relationship he told me he’s going to be really busy and he’s stressed and there’s a lot going on in his life & he’ll come back for me once things are straight and maybe in the near future we can try and be together .

We tried to work it out anyway and now he just left . He made me feel all special saying he cared about me more than he ever cared about any of his exes saying he felt him & i would actually work and he was “committed” . We agreed to keep in touch and so far we haven’t talked today. I miss him so much he made me so happy.. Opinions comments of why he would do this after only dating for 2 weeks ?

Swifting said 9 years, 8 months ago:

He’s not mature enough for you.

He’s also considering the fact that you’re likely under the age for sexual consent and he’ll be a legal adult soon.

You’re better off without him. You seem to know who you are and don’t let anyone stand between you and being happy.

vanity said 9 years, 8 months ago:

I am new to this site and i just happened to join this group first and your was the first question.
I have been in a similar condition, much worse to be honest.
I dated a guy for two years and he said that i was the love of his life and all blah that guys say you know?
4 days before our 2 year anniversary, he says i don’t think we are meant to be and it just wont work out. I asked him, “if you love me then why are you leaving?”
All he said was, it’s not meant to be. Nothing more.
It’s been about a month now, i want us to stay friends but he says “What i feel for you is too strong.”
Trust me, i have had nights when i have cried so much that it almost felt like i would die.
This person who promised me forever, who was there through it all could just end it because he THOUGHT that we werent meant to be. Funny isnt it?
The only thing i want to tell you from what i have been through these last few days is that some guy isnt going to make it better for you. I know that seems like the best option, to have a new bf and be happy but trust me, its stupid.
Spend as much time as you can with people, guys/girls, doesnt matter! Read, learn something. Occupy yourself with anything. Watch prison break, game of thrones. Whatever suits you. There will come a day soon when you will stop missing him, when you will realize that you didnt lose someone awesome, he did. It will be okay. Just know this. :)
Sorry this was too long.

katie said 9 years, 8 months ago:

It sounds like you’ll be better off without him, and I wouldn’t mourn your problematic relationship either. Yeah it sucks that you went through that and he just gave up, but it seems like he wants to do his own thing and only wants you when you’re convenient. I’ve been through that, so I get it. It may feel like you’ll be sad about it forever, but you’ll find someone else when the time is right. In the meantime, spend some time with friends, family, and yourself.

laura717 said 9 years, 8 months ago:

Hi Hope,

I don’t want to be rude, but I know some Chinese and I thought I might point out that your profile pic doesn’t mean “love” because it cut off the top part of the character 爱. (The top part is important because it means heart, and without it the word doesn’t mean love). This is what it should look like:

Good luck with your ex-boyfriend problems. I would just echo what Katie said. Good luck with everything!

Deleted User said 9 years, 8 months ago:

@lplechaty I don’t mean to be rude but your comment about my profile picture was helpful but unnecessary . I am here for advice not commentary about a profile picture .

Beatrice said 9 years, 8 months ago:

Im have the same problem with you, i have dated this guy for almost 5months, he was a sweet guy, he said he is serious he really loves me, would do lots of effort to make me happy, there wont be a day we dont see each other, he would bring food n stuffsto me, meet my mom, sisters and friends. To the point i got so much into him n i askd him where are status going, then he said he isnt ready? (It really breaks my heart u know, after all this, you not ready??? What does he mean by want to explore, finding himself) well, i have no choice, we dn both agreed to stop but remind friends, we still communicate.. It just hurt me cause until now he is giving me mix signals.

I know its painful, its not easy, cuz thats how i feel too. Well for me, allow urself to miss him, until the missing stops (cause when u try to control it, it will just haunt u), but ofcors at the same time continue ur life, focus to be better, make urself busy with other n more important things.. Pretty soon ul get over it. :)

becausemeagan said 9 years, 8 months ago:

I noticed someone say above me. “He’s not mature enough for you” and I have to say amen. At first with your age and being a younger teen compared to his age. I made a lame assumption that it was an age difference issue. When there is a bit of an age gap there can be problems. The thing is is that you’re a very mature person for your age stereotypes. Which is great!! But I agree he is NOT mature enough. He seems volatile and easy to anger. That doesn’t make him a bad person but it makes for a difficult relationship. He got mad that you “compared” him to an ex which you really didn’t. If he was mature he’d understand that your taking your time. there was no comparison there. It’s hard getting over someone. And as I always say if it’s meant to be then it will. But at this time you should just focus on what’s ahead. I hate saying this but you are young and you have so much ahead of you. He is a lesson learned and maybe when he matures more there can be hope and possiblity. But for now I think just keeping yourself busy is the best.

becausemeagan said 9 years, 8 months ago:

Please keep in contact and updated on how things go!

Deleted User said 9 years, 8 months ago:

@lplechaty the character does mean Love. It is mainland chinese (simplified) character for love with the top bit (the heart) cut off due to the picture being zoomed in too close.

By you stating that it doesn’t mean love because there is no heart radical is completely wrong. Each section of a character has meaning. To break it down, the characters mean, “Heart, Roof, Friend”. There would also need the roof and friend particle too for the completion of the word Love or are they extra radicals just for decoration? Answer: No.

This girl made a simple mistake (or maybe she didn’t even want the heart in it) and you know this. And yet you decide to flaunt your newly learned knowledge to those who lack proficiency in the language. It is uncalled for and highly rude especially since Hope was asking for advice, not a wordplay lesson.

To Hope, I do not have any advice for you, I apologize.

Deleted User said 9 years, 8 months ago:

Thank you all for the advice . But for the record , i don’t really care about my profile pic and it’s true meaning it’s just a pic to me. Blahtherapy does have an image size limit so i was forced to crop the top half . But again– i don’t know why we’re talking about profile pics . I really do not appreciate people derailing my topic throwing everyone else off topic .

becausemeagan said 9 years, 8 months ago:

It’s okay! I wouldn’t even have known! I always say do what you have to do. Even if it isn’t always right. It’s whatever makes you happy.

just a dandelion . said 9 years, 8 months ago:

he’s obviously not willing to fight for you and isn’t worth fighting for because he wouldn’t do it for you. if its that easy for him to let go, that says alot. he also sounds very selfish because he only seems to think him being hurt is all the matters and that your pain doesn’t. girl i know how you feel, i went through something very similar. you will get better i promise. prince charming is out there for you and you’ll find him when the perfect time comes. so, until then, just prepare yourself for him cos he is all that’ll matter in the end :)