NotSafeForTwerk said 9 years, 10 months ago:

Ok, wow. I thought I had protective and overbearing issues, but wow. I can speak for me on this, but Iwas never that bad. See, I have been cheated on, extensively. And have had some of my exes even go so far as to debase me, I.E. tell me that I am ugly and useless, before leaving with her new chump. My last relationship was 8 years long, and when we first started, I was overbearing at times (due to having lost so many other GFs to other guys), so when she’d tell me she made a new guy friend, I was often suspicious and voiced my disapproval. I never told her she couldn’t see them, but that I wasn’t comfortable with it. Anyway, when these guys would hit on her or try to get her to leave me she would tell me and tell me how she handled it. And if their advances continued, she would tell them they couldn’t be friends.
She also very bluntly sat me down and in no nice terms told me she’d never cheat on me and that I need to start showing trust in her. That she isn’t some mindless person, and there was a reason she was with me. Because I had qualities these other guys didn’t, qualities she loved. It took me time to get over it, but I did eventually, and we got to the point where she would go out to clubs and such with friends that were guys, and I’d tell her to have fun and not have a care in the world.
See, the reason isn’t necessarily that he doesn’t trust you, it is that he thinks he is not good enough for you, so every guy that comes along is a potential better alternative to your current choice in mates. It is frightful and I know I spent many a night wide awake all night playing out scenarios in my head of how she’d cheat on me, because what woman would want to be with a loser like me? I’d leave me for someone better if I had the chance! Don’t get me wrong, trust plays an issue, and I assume he has had some serious betrayal in the past, I hope you can work things out. There is no easy way to handle it. But I can say, at some point it clicked, and I realized that if my past relationships dictated my current ones, I’d always be alone, because I’d always waiting to be rejected and replaced. And if they were willing to cheat on me in the first place, I was better off without them.
I know this isn’t what you probably what you wanted to hear, but if he has the issues I had, it will take a bit of work.

Deleted User said 9 years, 10 months ago:

He is cheating on you – so he is paranoid that you are doing the same thing. Classic textbook example of guys’ behaviour when they themselves are cheating.

sundaisiesbeach said 9 years, 9 months ago:

Holly, he could have had a past relationship go wrong and now he is just terrified that you will do something unfaithful to him. Or it could be the relationship he saw with his parents. But since communication and trust is important in a relationship you need to talk to him and tell him the reasons as to why he thinks you would ever do something like that to him. Tell him that you love him (if you do) and that that is the only thing you can do and say to him to ensure him you won’t do it. Let him know that it offends you that he thinks you would ever do that to him or to somebody. And if it continues then you need to let him know that the lack of trust is too much for you. Give him a chance to trust you but if that doesn’t happen then you will have to end things