Advice?

Hard to answer, not much info ie how old are you, was this physical abuse, and dysfunctional family, alcoholism, divorce?? I can tell you that I felt like my upbringing was pretty bad, but lots of others had it much worse I'm sure. But, when it comes down to it, family is all you have in the world and families usually put the past aside and move on, hoping it will be better. If you've distanced yourself from your parents or siblings, maybe start reaching out to them now as an adult by phoning them once a month or something. I think just by doing this and talking about normal things like your job and home and how's it going with you etc.. you will find healing and forgiveness, and you will begin to feel like an adult that people respect, you'll have more confidence, and your relationship with your fiance should improve. You've probably heard of skeletons in the closet, well this is just what I'm talking about. All families have them, but they carry on with their lives, ignoring the past, and when thanksgiving or christmas rolls around, they all get together and pretend they all love each other and get drunk and start fighting about old animosities...oh wait that's what my family does lol. But I hope you try that, phone home, stay in touch, try to be part of something (a family).

Oh wow, I feel like I just read part of my story! First of all, let me tell you that it is the BEST thing in this world to realize that these problems weren't dealt with properly. That sends you on the right path to overcome them. I lived in an abusive and mentally deteriorating household my whole life. It was so dysfunctional and backwards that my grandmother (who is more like my mother) doesn't even know how me and my sister came out of it. It is extremely hard to overcome the scars that you get when you life in a dysfunctional household. You begin to think it's normal and when you leave it, you're still stuck there trying to figure out what really is normal and how to get there. Me and my fiance have A TON of problems due to my past and it doesn't help that he lived the complete opposite of me (spoiled) and has no compassion for what I went through. I don't trust ANYONE. What helped me was finally realizing that I didn't have to live in what I lived in anymore and that I could make my own decisions based on what was best for me and my family. I went to the doctor for my depression check and came out with a diagnosis of bipolar, generalized anxiety disorder, and extreme depression. I realized that the problems we were facing together (me and my fiance) were a result of my insecurity that resulted from my past. I knew I needed help. I am actively seeking a psychiatrist for medication with my bipolar, no known cure for GAD, and on depression medication. After I learned to vent to an unbiased person, I used that type of communication to talk with my fiance about how me makes me feel or that what he did was not okay. Communication is key with your fiance and I hope he is understanding of what you went through. I had to come to terms that a lot of the problems we had were because of me (not all, but most) and once I started the journey to overcome those by talking to people, getting on mood stabilizers, and staying positive, things eventually got better. I realized that I don't have to live the way I used to and that I CAN limit the exposure to the dysfunctional things in my life and that I have a say in what goes on around me. Realize that you don't have to fear your past anymore and that good things will come in the future. You CAN chose what you want in life, who you want in life, and where you want to go. I would start off by getting some help (this site, a therapist, a friend (which I can be if you need me :) ) or anything like that) and then communicate with your partner. I know that this is anonymous, but if you really do need me, I am here. It sounds like exactly what I am going through right now and I can help you. I wish nothing but the best for you! Please let me know if you need further advice or I will type a book here!