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About Me | theres not much to say really but, my dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2007 he got told he had 3months to live and he made it until christmas we didnt think he would make it until christmas as he got told he had 3 months to live then he tried to make it til 2008 christmas but he didnt he nearly got there but suddenly he passed away november 25th 2008 that night when he passed away he was laying in his hospital bed i went to see him but i was told if i seen my dad on that bed not alive i would have nightmares but i didnt and i went up to him talking to him crying even though i knew he wouldnt reply to me i told him i loved him about 1000 times and how much i cared, if there is a god which i dont beileve because if there was a god he wouldnt take my dad away from me its true he only takes the best. i was 11 when he was taken that is no age for a girl to loose her father. When he'd gone to heaven all of his 5 kids went there seperate ways and went of the rails we had all lost our minds my mum is depressed everyday my brothers do there own thing my sister does her own thing and me i cut myself everyday and i dont want to but its the only way out of my anger im depressed all the time i put on a huge mount of weight because i lost my dad i was 7 stone now im 13 stone my mum lost weight when she lost her husband i seemed to gain weight, i miss his smile his laugh his love he always took us places we used to go on holidays but now i have non of that my mum dont drive we are low on money i dont have much clothes, im not sure whether to call this a family anymore. The most thing i miss about my dad is calling his name and just to hear him answer me that would mean the world to me, i wish i had one wish and id give it all to him, my mum is very suicidal. People will look at this and think "thats not bad" but when im writing it it doesnt seem bad, but if only you could breath the air i breath, take a walk in my shoes, go through the pain and suffering i got through and still am going through, until then you will never know whats like to be my and to have my life so dont judge. |
Experienced with | Addiction, Depression, Grieving, Health & Fitness, Mental Disorders, Phobias, Relationships, Self Harm |
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