You deserve to be supported and cared for @beachyclean, please don’t harm yourself, try talking to someone you trust about your feeling, I don’t want to see you hurt or upset, everything will be OK, try to stay positive and don’t give up, you are a fighter, I’m always here if you need to vent or chat, message me anytime, my inbox is always open, stay strong, you are never alone (hugs)

Even though it provides you with some measure of comfort, do not protect or defend your self-harm habits. Do not be afraid that you will no longer be able to harm yourself, it is a malformed coping mechanism that is not healthy for you, self-harm is not your friend.