BrokenShadow said 6 years, 9 months ago:

It all started when I was in Middle School where kids would make fun of me for having a medical condition that made me different from everyone else. Kids made fun of me for breathing differently and making fun of me for not having the ability to do the things that they were able to do. Not to mention to bully and beat me up on the playground when a teacher wasn’t looking. It got worse once High School started since all of my classmates followed me there. I got majorly bullied in High School. I thought I had friends, turns out I just had people who used me to get personal information out of me to only use it against me. I was Catfished in High School. Very first experience with people being as cruel and heartless as ever pretending to love and care about me. The person that they were pretending to me was a real person, it was just someone else talking for them. Once I have figured out why everyone was making fun of me, why I kept getting dirty looks, why I got beat up in the girls locker room during gym breaks during P.E.. I thought about suicide, I attempted so many times until I almost went through with it and it landed me in the hospital for weeks. My parents didn’t believe me, of course they thought I was asking for attention. I didn’t want attention, I wanted help and for someone to listen to me and wanted to know what was going on with me. I could have gone to the guidance counselor but that would have made it public and people would know to only make fun and beat up on me more. My parents continued to not believe me. Once again I was only looked at for being an attention seeking brat who only thought of herself. Ever since the one fight in the cafeteria, with getting publicly humiliated, the guy that I thought cared about me told everyone that I gave him an STD and we slept together, which was 100% false and completely fiction. My whole world crumbled around me and it just felt like I had no where to go. I skipped school which was hard for me because I was a straight A student and got picked on for being one of the smartest girls in the school. It was one day again where my 2nd attempt came to be. I was home alone while my parents left for work, I tried to hang myself in the living room doorway. I got my dad’s rope and hung it at the top hook of the doorway and put the end around my neck and kicked the stool underneath me and I blacked out. I woke up on my way to the hospital and I heard the EMT yelling “were loosing her, were loosing her” and I closed my eyes and felt peace. I opened my eyes again and I was in a hospital bed and I felt drowsy, my parents looked furious over my side railings. I will never forget the moment my parents told me they were disappointed in me for ever attempting what I did and how furious they would have been if I had really died. I’ve had serious downfalls since then and still have not yet recovered but I am slowly getting there and I am trying my best day by day. Nothing can compare to the emotional destruction others can cause to your life and how low human beings can be. I don’t wish suicide attempts on anyone and I wish I hadn’t done it but without anyone loving you and nobody listening, it was the only choice I felt like I had at the time. But I am so grateful to be alive now because I’ve finally seen light and how precious my life really is.

Bird said 6 years, 9 months ago:

@nerdybynature I’m so sorry that people have treated you so poorly, no one deserves the pain that you have experienced, know that I am always here for you, I love you and you are so very important to me, I promise to make the rest of your life into the happy ending that you deserve <3

BrokenShadow said 6 years, 9 months ago:

You are so incredibly sweet. You have no idea how important you are to me as well. I’m always here for you and you know how much I love and adore you for what you have done for me. <3

Vaib said 6 years, 9 months ago:

Well I think all is well that ends well. I am happy that you learnt how important is a life. You have found many new friends now. And I assure you that now life is going to be beautiful.

And bird, I am proud of you my friend, you are a real gem.

BrokenShadow said 6 years, 9 months ago:

My life has been getting more beautiful and bright day by day with the friends I have found, including Bird. He is incredible.

Silent Radiance said 6 years, 8 months ago:

I had no idea, that’s such a heartbreaking story. I can’t imagine attempting to hang yourself and then waking up like that. It must have been terrifying. I’m really glad you made it through that because it helped make you the person you are today, which as far as I’m concerned is a wonderful person! I may not know you that well, but I’ve seen you help a lot of people around here and you always have something nice to say. I’m so sorry that people treated you like that in the past, some people are just…for a lack of a better word…stupid. They don’t understand the pain that others feel and aren’t empathetic. But you’re different, and that’s what makes you special. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Your letter to yourself is all the more beautiful after reading this, I’m really happy to hear that things are looking up for you :) .

SomedaysDreamer said 6 years, 8 months ago:

You’ve been through a lot.
But you’re so, so strong.
Don’t give up on life just yet! There’s so much more to see =) You deserve to treat yourself better.
*hugs*

BrokenShadow said 6 years, 8 months ago:

Thank you so much!!!! You have no idea how much that honestly means to me!!! :D

SJayJay said 6 years, 8 months ago:

Glad to see you thinking very positively now. People truly never understand the pain and its not right for them to judge when they dont know how it feels like when the depression hole keeps getting bigger and its harder to get out of it.(btw I got this message from someone who helped me too). But im glad that you have found true friends because you deserve it and you are worth something

Hopefullylesspretentious said 6 years, 8 months ago:

There’s not much more to say here than has already been said. You have my deepest sympathies for everything that’s happened. You’ve been in the worst kind of situation, completely alone for years. Despite that, you’ve made it through and you’re starting to make things better. You’re building the kind of support structure you need to get better. Good for you. You’re also almost shockingly cheerful.
I completely understand your feelings of depression. It does get less difficult, though, as I think you’re starting to see. There are good people out there, who will actually stop and take the time to look at who you are, without judging. People who can see how important you really are. I think you’ve found a few. You should be alright, given time. I wish you the best, and if you want advice, feel free to message me.